2. You couldn’t pregame. You were out of booze. Stores were closed. Too poor to buy more anyway.
3. No one you knew was going
and you don’t like dancing on your own…that much.
6. You forgot where the party was and ended up on Facebook for half an hour…
Ok, four hours.
7. …then logged off but forgot whose party it was and ended up on Facebook again.
We all hate you, Mark.
8. You found out that guy you’ve been avoiding was going…
And so were his friends
10. Everyone there was older than you
12. You tried putting on makeup but got distracted watching 45 Michelle Phan tutorials
She’s so pretty and talented and loveable
13. Nude pumps?
You hate nude pumps but everyone looks good in them.
14. Couldn’t decide which bag to bring
18. Too much delivery = food baby.
Can’t roll in with rolls.
20. You had only one piece of gum left.
22. and you weren’t in the mood to flirt to get free drinks.
23. You read the venue’s yelp review
24. You started watching SVU.