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    How Not to Write a Sex Scene

    The Guardian lists its annual winners for this year's worst sex scenes in literature. They even gave respected author John Updike a lifetime achievement award for writing such scrumptious prose including: "She had gagged, and moved him outside her lips, rubbing his spurting glans across her cheeks and chin...Her face gleamed with his jism in the spotty light of the motel room, there on the far end of East Beach, within sound of the sea."