maybe to him saving people’s lives asalifeguard was about saving people’s lives, but puttingabomb out atavery public event was about SAYING something. people in extreme states of confusion are capable of sustaining even stranger beliefs. sometimes we see ourselves so small… we hear big voices and we want our voice to be just as big… maybe life-guarding and bomb-planting aren’t at odds with each other, but are two separate idealistic actions in the mind (let alone the hands) ofapassionate person. i’m not saying it’s fine.ihave been so sad about this.ihave wished all of the televisions would read richard brautigan’s book “in watermelon sugar” out loud over the airwaves in response, because to me this violence seems so senseless, and the targets are so random. and asapoetic action it’s suchadisappointing one, to take away the life ofahealthful joyful exhausted person you don’t even know at the finish line ofatremendous exertion of effort in sport! in sport. their heart beating red blood throughout their body, the sun shining down on them at the end of the trial they’ve set their mind and body to do. just suchashame, not to have thought out what an ugly thing that is, and how much more it says about you, than about the things that you love and care for and would petition for in life (such as the rights and lives of minorities in the USA, such as your view of decent human behavior). there are such better ways to makeadifference. in any civilization-not just the USA-civilization-people living with other people can’t suffer people who act like this. all people might feel this way sometimes, but civilization can’t suffer it. it’s notaquestion of punishment. it’s certainly notaquestion of justice, because the lives that have been lost are immeasurable. justice is reallyafunny idea. it’s notaquestion of punishment. it’saquestion of civilization. what do we do with someone who’s done this? kill them? (they can’t pay life for life if they took more than one, and most of us have taken the life ofaspider without ever paying, except perhaps in mosquito bites.) should we lock them up and pay for their meals without work for the rest of their natural life? (is thatanatural life?) should we let the victims’ family have weapons and some time alone with them? (the old testament specifies that it should be done without torture and openly, when you have to kill someone who has murdered one of your family members.) should we let them walk around freely? oh lord-what hard questions. and i’m in indiana soidon’t even have to worry too much about it. but it could’ve been me. and is it over?ido thank god/allah/yhvh/great goom for the time and friends and family and air and days and nightsiam given, and mayiget more and more out of them,ipray! andipray all of this unto the victims’ souls wherever it is they are now, andipray all of this unto the families, and all the knowledge of all the people. amen.