12 Vintage Teen Magazine Cover Stories That Would Never Happen Today

"My 6-Cigarette Way to Quit Smoking." Um, rilly?

1. Seventeen, 1976: "My 6-Cigarette Way To Quit Smoking"

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Quit smoking by smoking.

2. Teens Today, 1959: "Beach Behavior: Necking"

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Those youths...always necking.

3. Teen, 1961: "Chubby Chicks Look Slimmer In Minutes!"

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This probably involves vertical stripes. Or a chainsaw.

4. American Girl, 1964: "Salads"

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Yum?

5. Teen, 1958: "What is the new 'Chicken' Dance Craze?"

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This is just like twerking...but different.

6. Ingenue, 1964: "Magical Mother-Daughter Diet"

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Aka, every girl's worst nightmare.

7. Teen, 1970: "The Pow-Wow Look"

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Well this is embarrassing.

8. Seventeen, 1976: "Do YOU want children?"

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Teen Mom 1.0.

9. Ingenue, 1967: "The Cool One: Michael Caine"

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This is actually quite endearing. Alas, the chances of Michael Caine gracing a teen mag cover again...are slim.

10. Seventeen, 1966: "A computer picks the partners for a high school dance"

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Well, the modern translation for this would be: "Teens prefer Facebook to IRL."

11. In, 1966: "Confessions of a fat girl"

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C'mon....really?!

12. For Teens Only, 1967: Everything on this cover, pretty much.

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Emotions that make you a woman too quickly!