1. When he called B.S. on astrology:
Not that anybody asked, but when the Moon is in the 7th house, & Jupiter aligns with Mars, nothing will happen because of it.
2. When he took it all in:
I love the smell of the Universe — in the evening.
3. When he offered the real story of Christmas:
Santa knows Physics: Of all colors, Red Light penetrates fog best. That's why Benny the Blue-nosed reindeer never got the gig
4. When he knew what sharks were thinking:
I wonder is Sharks feel sorry for humans because we get only two sets of teeth, rather than unlimited.
5. When he offered this intriguing zombie proposition:
Occasionally I wonder what a football game would be like if played by Zombies. Would be slower, but oh so much more violent.
6. When he said what we're all too ashamed to admit:
if I am ever abducted by aliens, I just may be compelled to ask, “Do you have Hoverboards on your home planet?"
7. When he reminded us that humans just don't get the big picture:
Although clocks on the Prime Meridian keep "Universal Time", I’m quite sure Aliens across the actual universe don’t care.
8. And that humans are largely dumb:
Aliens, seeing Humans kill over land, politics, religion, & skin color, would surely ask, “What the f*%k is wrong with you?"
9. When he made this astute observation, making you oh-so-grateful:
If we had twelve fingers, there’d be no middle finger to flip at people with whom you’ve run out of words to communicate.
10. When he shot down idiots, but with utter class:
Just because you can't figure out how ancient civilizations built stuff, doesn't mean they got help from Aliens.
11. When he made this joke about atheists:
I wonder if Atheists eat at T.G.I. Fridays.
12. OK, literally all the jokes Neil has ever made about atheists:
I wonder if social media atheists ever use "OMG". If so, they probably intended to type "OYG".
13. When he made this hypothesis, which makes total sense:
Dracula & other undead people who sleep in coffins must have good abs. They always rise up flat-backed when the casket opens.
14. When, once again, he spelled out another of humanity's inconsistencies.
We pet dogs, expecting them to lick your hand or face in delight, but if a human licked your face you’d call the police.
15. When he made this good point that made you pause to think:
I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a fat turtle.
16. When he was clearly the awesomest person in the grocery store, ever:
When I shop for fruit & melons I like to hold a grape next to a cantaloupe & think of Earth next to Jupiter. Then I eat Earth
17. And when he SHUT. DOWN. ALL. THE. HATERS:
You should all know by now that if you accuse me of being a Nerd or a Geek, I’ll simply take it as a compliment and move on.
So be thankful for the joy Neil brings you. And always be thankful for this Vulcan salute:
