1. This candy heart, which basically says, "I cheated."
2. This "save me" heart which doesn't so much read as damsel in distress as it does I AM SO LONELY GOD HELP ME.
3. It's hard not to take this literally. "I'm real." "Yes, yes you are a real human being."
4. Message received. Life is cruel.
5. If this is a weird sex thing, I don't want to know.
6. Otherwise known as the restraining order candy heart.
7. Just leave the money on the dresser.
8. Because Tinder isn't working.
9. The candy heart a serial killer leaves at your doorstep.
10. Here's a candy heart your Ex would probably send to you.
11. This candy heart is sad because it just gives no fucks.
12. Yes, mistakes can always be learned from. But they're rarely good. Nor are they tasty.
13. And finally there's this. Here's to hoping that no one gives you an OLD ANUS heart on Saturday.
