The Best 25 Episodes Of South Park

Back in 1997 when I was in 4th grade, a new cartoon called South Park premiered on what was a very young channel called Comedy Central. Since then, I have laughed hard, quoted often, and been able to see the world through the eyes of 4 kids from a small mountain town. There are now 19 Seasons and over 250 episodes in what has become one of the most popular shows on television. After years of watching each and every episode and months of hard work I now present to you what I consider to be the top 25 episodes of South Park. So sit back with some Cheezy Poofs and enjoy!

25. Volcano (Season 2, Episode 3)

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An oldie, but a goodie. The third episode ever brought us one of the best original creatures, Scuzzlebutt, who weaves wicker baskets and has Patrick Duffy for a leg. This episodes also introduces Randy Marsh, who has not only become a staple of South Park, but is also featured heavily in this list

24. Fantastic Easter Special (Season 11, Episode 5)

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A holiday special that teaches us all the true meaning of Easter. At the height of "The Da Vinci Code" craze, this episode taught us about The Hare Club for Men and the danger of putting Peeps in the microwave.

Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeps!!

23. Trapped in the Closet (Season 9, Episode 12)

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Another excellent religion satire. This episode taught me everything I know about Scientology and encouraged me to watch the entire R. Kelly rap'opera from start to finish.

22. Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy (Season 10, Episode 10)

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Cartman gets authorit'ah and uses it to clean the halls of teachers having affairs with kindergartners. The Park County Police would do more, but they are too busy enjoying the juicy details. Niiiiiiiiiice.

21. Something Wall-Mart This Way Comes (Season 8, Episode 9)

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When a Wall-Mart comes to South Park, the simple mountain folk are not ready for the amazing deals. Everyone tries to fight it, but sometimes a good deal is too much to resist, especially for Randy.

20. Asspen (Season 6, Episode 2)

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Timeshare companies are not to be trusted, but at least the gang got some free skiing lessons out of it. It's still hard to know when to pizza or french fry, and whether you battle the top skier the first time or the second time. Thankfully Stan Darsh saves the youth center and the mountain is no longer haunted by the time they leave.

19. The Succubus (Season 3, Episode 3)

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I said "we'll take a box of the graham crunch. How much will that be?" Well she looked at me and said "That'll be about tree fiddy." Well it was about this time I noticed that this girl scout was about 8 stories tall and was a crustacean from the protozoic era!!

Moral of the story: If someone asks you for $3.50, it's probably the Loch Ness Monster.

18. Quest for Ratings (Season 8, Episode 11)

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It's tough to compete with Craig's "Close up Animals, With a Wide Angle Lens, With Hats!" show. The boys, with their excellent hair and desire to report the news learn the hard way that ratings do matter. You'll never look at cough medicine the same way after this episode.

17. Awesom-O (Season 8, Episode 5)

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This is hands down the best Butters episode. Also, it's nice to see Cartman get some comeuppance after dressing like a robot for an entire episode. Watch this episode once and you will have Butters' song about his robot friend stuck in your head.

16. Margaritaville (Season 13, Episode 3)

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During the economic recession of 2008, Randy taught us all why it happened. One of the best quotable episodes with such classics as:

"And, it's gone!"

"It is time to stop pointing fingers. Finger pointing gets us nowhere, Steve!"

"Whichever of you guys has never bought anything frivolous, go ahead and huck the next squirrel".

15. Free Hat (Season 6, Episode 9)

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Tweek, while a minor a character, always made a great addition to the gang. This episode also nails why re-released, updated classic movies are the worst and directors should stop doing it. Sometimes there is only one way to stop them and that's by "cooling their hot temper with a fresh island song!!"

14. Douche and Turd (Season 8, Episode 8)

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Sometimes South Park just gets it. Every election since the dawn of time is always between a giant douche and turd sandwich. That and you should really take "Vote or Die" seriously.

(Personal note: I would vote Turd Sandwich for new school mascot.)

13. Child Abduction Isn't Funny (Season 6, Episode 11)

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It's tough not to get caught up in sensationalist news stories, especially for the parents of South Park. Luckily they have the owner of City Wok to help protect them from child abductors and more importantly, MONGOLIANS!! (Stop breaking down my shitty wall!)

12. Scott Tenorman Must Die (Season 5, Episode 4)

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The ultimate 'do not mess with Cartman' episode. This might be the most disturbing yet hilarious episode of South Park and happened only in season 5. If anyone asks how far South Park will go, I would recommend watching this. It even has a Radiohead cameo!

11. Chef Goes Nanners (Season 4, Episode 7)

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A controversial debate over the South Park flag tears the town apart. Maintain history or update with the times comes to a great conclusion. My favorite Chef episode; still wish he was on the show.

10. Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow (Season 9, Episode 8)

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The people of South Park didn't listen to warnings about global warming or did Stan and Cartman just destroy a poorly made beaver-dam? One thing for sure though, "I broke the dam!"

9. Good Times with Weapons (Season 8, Episode 1)

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Japanese animation combined with the kids getting authentic weapons from the Far East created a classic. I mean, look at that photo above. They look quite ready to face Professor Chaos. "Lets Fighting Love" might be one of my all time favorite original songs.

8. Little Bit of Country (Season 7 Episode 4)

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The Iraq War was controversial for many Americans, especially for the good people of South Park. The issue was especially tough for the boys who had to write a report on what the founding fathers would think of the situation. Cartman's flashback to 1776 and the singing battle of the town make this a classic.

7. Make Love Not Warcraft (Season 10, Episode 8)

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One of the most creative episodes of the series. The boys are unable to enjoy World of Warcraft because someone keeps killing them (in the game). The integration of actual WOW gameplay, coupled with the boys' powerful desire to defeat their adversary makes this episode unique. Thankfully, they receive timely help from a noob, Randy, and save the world (of warcraft). Also this episode includes a fantastic training montage with original music, a trademark of many episodes.

6. The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers (Season 6, Episode 13)

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All Lord of the Ring fans should watch this episode. Its parallel to the movie, and hilarious subplot of the boys actually having the most vile, sick porno ever (Back Door Sluts 9! Which actually makes Crotch Capers 3 look like Naughty Nurses 2) makes this episode laugh out loud funny from start to finish. Butters makes the perfect Smeagol and the kids of the town learn a thing or two about the birds and the bees.

5. Red Badge of Gayness (Season 3, Episode 14)

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Top 5 time here. A Civil War reenactment goes wrong and Cartman learns the power of impersonating General Lee. This early episode stands the test of time for its take on reenactments and shows the power of a weeks long drinking bender fueled by s'more schnapps. I always found Jimbo to be Randy-lite, and this episode shows us why.

4. Little Crime Stoppers (Season 7, Episode 6)

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I could watch this one repeatedly (and I have). All the boys want to do is play detective and somehow they managed to get recruited by the Park County PD and put on a serious case. How they solve it and manage the clean up the department I'll never understand, but I do know they make excellent cops.

3. All About Mormons (Season 7, Episode 12)

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This amazing episode is what spawned the Broadway show "The Book of Mormon." It's incredibly clever and funny way of explaining the story of Joseph Smith (pictured above) is proof that no religion is safe from South Park. If you haven't seen the show or this episode, you are Dum dum dummm.

2. The Losing Edge (Season 9, Episode 5)

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The ultimate Randy episode combined with one of the best childhood plot-lines; for most average kids little league is super boring. This one has it all: an awesome original song, Randy drinking and fighting, and all the kids in town playing together and hating baseball. I have always found Randy and Stan's relationship to be one of the best parts of the show and this episode showcases how ridiculous it is.

Also, I thought this was America!!

1. Cartman Gets an Anal Probe (Season 1, Episode 1)

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The pilot that started it all. I am always surprised how many fans I know who have never seen this episode. The animation was done by hand and it is quite clear how cheap the production is, but the jokes are still some of the funniest in the entire series. Cartman farting fire, cows running amok, and Ike being abducted are only some of the highlights of what I would consider the best episode to date.

There are many amazing episodes, with hilarity and ridiculousness I never thought I would get from a cartoon, but this episode brings that all home. This is what started it all.

Honorable Mentions

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Not all episodes were created equally, but these few just pull on my humor string no matter when I watch them:

Woodland Critter Christmas (Season 8, Ep 14)- Best Christmas episode

CasaBonita (Season 7, Ep 11)- Cartman being Cartman

Imaginationland (Season 11, Ep 10-13)- Best 3 part episode

Cancelled (Season 7, Episode 1)- This is probably exactly why Earth exists

Cock Magic (Season 18, Ep 8)- Underground Magic is intense.

Note: South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut (the movie) was deemed not eligible for this list. However, it is one the finest and funniest musicals you will ever watch. It is that good.

Thanks!!

This list came about through the help of many friends and conversations over the years. My college roommate Dan who was obsessed with accurate lists, my father who let me watch this show as a 9 year old, and Comedy Central for streaming the entire library for free for many years.

Special thanks goes to my other college roommate Jason, who used his keen lawyer mind to help me figure this all out, and was a crucial partner in the last stage. Here is a link to the spreadsheet we worked on, and the phases of this list.

Also thanks to my amazing fiance Lauren, who isn't a intense fan like myself, but enjoys the humor and loves me despite my shenangins.

To me, South Park will always be the show I shared with my father growing up on Wednesday nights at 10. I recommend it to everyone, and am grateful that Trey Parker and Matt Stone got a chance and turned it into something hilarious.

Feel free to comment below if you think I missed one, messed up the order, or just want to share a great memory about the people from a quiet mountain town.

Screw you guys, I'm going home!