Every Part Of A Sunday Roast, Ranked

Scientific, and 100% correct.

25. Brussels Sprouts

Acceptable at Christmas. Never otherwise.

23. Onions

Great for flavouring, terrible for eating. Cook them in gravy, roast them with potatoes then leave them off the plate. No-one should be biting into onion, regardless of how they’ve been cooked.

22. Yorkshire Pudding

Despite being integral to the Sunday Roast, it’s been over-hyped. When dry, it’s a crunchy pancake. With gravy, it’s soggy and still pretty flavourless.

21. Peas

Great flavour, terrible physics. A roast dinner is too important to leave little balls rolling all over the place.

20. Sweetcorn

Ditto. Also feels like it should have butter, which doesn’t fit the roast.

19. Gammon

Really salty, and you’re supposed to eat it with pineapple. Not cool.

18. Red Peppers

Culinarily, it’s quite nice, but it just feels fundamentally wrong. Like you’ve kicked one of the Queen’s corgis, or sub-tweeted Stephen Fry.

17. Chicken

It’s a good meat - delicious, in fact. Roasted, however, is never going to be the best way to eat chicken, and for that reason, it loses points in the meat rankings.

Stuffing

Goes a small way towards redeeming chicken, as stuffing does add a pretty awesome flavour, especially if sausage-meat is involved as well. But when it comes down to it, you’re still stuck with chicken that hasn’t been deep-fried.

16. Broccoli

Great vegetable for stir-frys, and soups, and bakes, but for a roast it manages to be too bitter. While there are plenty of recipes around to help it out, they’re all a bit complex for a roast.

15. Pork

Pork is the default meat. It’s not that exciting, and there’s a lot of variation in quality. Sometimes delicious, all too often dry and not very interesting.

Apple Sauce

Apple + pork? Lovely. Apple + gravy? ABOMINATION.

14. Swede

Especially when combined with carrots, swede is a great flavour to add. Loses points for not being great roasted - it really needs to be mashed.

13. Nut Roast

Non-veggies probably haven’t experienced a nut roast, but it’s a much more enjoyable replacement for a joint of meat than you might think.

12. Green Beans

The main reason to recommend them is the colour. Sometimes you need to break up all the earth tones, and green beans are the best way to do that.

11. Parsnips

Acceptable, but they’re never anyones favourite. They need extra-special treatment to make them taste great, and even then are chewy.

10. Beetroot

It’s totally unexpected but totally worth it. The dye seeps out, which can make eating purple potatoes an experience, but the earthy taste is a welcome variation.

9. Cabbage

Very under-rated. Actually delicious, simply because it’s brilliant at soaking up gravy, meat juice, and all the other good stuff.

8. Pork w/ Crackling

Pork might be only adequate, but add a thick lump of crisped up fat, and it flies up the rankings.

7. Lamb

There is a very real argument that a roast leg of lamb is the best tasting meat, but it slips down for two reasons. The first is that it costs more. It’s a pricey option, whether for a family of six, or a students making a community dinner. The second?

Mint Sauce

By far the worst of the meat-specific sauces, this sloppy green mess adds nothing to the meal, unless you happen to fancy some of your dinner having a distinct hint of toothpaste.

6. Cauliflower

Really bland. It’s not even an interesting colour. Why so high?

Cheese Sauce

BECAUSE CHEESE SAUCE. Someone once looked at a roast dinner, and decided that what it was missing was cheese. They were correct.

5. Leeks

Actually fairly unpleasant on their own, when added to cheese sauce, they become exceptional. They’re higher than cauliflower because Leeks & Cheese > Cauliflower & Cheese > Cauliflower > Leeks. It’s science.

4. Carrots

The ultimate roast dinner vegetable. Incredible when roasted, it’s the only non-potato vegetable that is utterly irreplaceable. Occasionally, honey-roasted and then unexpected MOUTH ORGASM.

3. Gravy

Gravy really ties the meal together. People might be putting it on chips (The North/Canada), but it’s true home is the roast dinner. Also, provides moisture.

2. Beef

Probably the most traditional meat, and when cooked well, the juicy headline star of a great roast dinner.

Horseradish Sauce

As a condiment, Horseradish wins out easily. It adds a sorely needed kick of complementary hotness to the meal, and confirms the ranking of beef.

1. Roast Potatoes

The inevitable winner, and the crispy, fluffy core of a roast dinner. Goes with everything, makes everything better, and brilliantly, everyone makes a slightly different variant, meaning there’s always room for innovation.

Of course, your mum still makes the best ones.

NB - all views above are subjective, unrepresentative, and possibly wrong.

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