1. The Old Boy
Has been coming to the pub since 1982, has seen 9 different landlords, 4 different pub names, and is still paying prices from the early 90s because no-one has been willing to tell him otherwise.
2. The Beer Snob
Slowly tastes every beer, explains at length that the kegs are at slightly the wrong temperature, and bemoans the lack of a certain obscure craft beer. Generally immediately in front of you at the bar.
3. The Underage Drinkers
A group of 15 year-olds hiding around the corner from the bar and sending their one friend who’s started to shave to order. Convinced they’re utterly undetected, but actually being tolerated with wry amusement.
4. The guy who still wants a drink 40 minutes after closing
Never gets it, and yet will try the same thing the next night.
6. The guy who’s being knocked over by the guy who’s had too much
7. The Regular
He’s at the bar every day. If he doesn’t show up, someone has to call his family to check up on him.
8. The Walking Encyclopedia
Has knowledge on every single topic, and enjoys sharing it with you. Though it sometimes doesn’t hold up to smartphone scrutiny.
9. The Smoker
Spends most of their time outside the bar, looking wistfully at their drinks inside.
10. The Non-Smoker
Spends most of their time inside, looking after the drinks and coats of The Smoker
11. The Person Doing Drynuary
The only person more bored than The Non-Smoker. Drinking a lovely glass of orange juice.
12. The Round Dodger
Mysteriously in the toilet when his round comes up. Or trying to prove that the extra 15p that wine costs means that, really, women owe him at least eight drinks.
13. The persons who’s only interested in drinking as much as possible
14. The Great Bartender
Knows your drink, your name, and how to make sure everyone’s night goes brilliantly
15. The Not-So-Great Bartender
Getting the right drink is more luck than anything else
16. The person who’s determined to make you do a shot
It’s a half past 6 on a Tuesday, I’M NOT DOING A SHOT.
17. The Clumsy Person
Buys five drinks, three get drunk. Also the reason pub floors are permanently sticky.
19. The person who’s spending way too much money
No-one should be having champagne in a pub
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