This is Rob Comeau, a 25-year-old dude in Newmarket, Ontario, who's been trying to peddle a 2010 Nissan Altima on Craigslist and Kijiji for what feels like an eternity.
So Comeau did what any person with product to move would do: he made a hotfire commercial complete with dramatic shots and even more dramatic voiceover work.
It's a hilariously perfect homage to every car commercial you've ever seen, complete with sweeping overhead shots.
And a scenic drive through the woods.
But the voiceover is by far the best part. Comeau and Hau hired a professional voice actor to describe the used car's "four rubber wheels for maximum traction" and "gas input and output."
"It even comes with windshield wipers — with a windshield for them to wipe."
''And some sort of compartment."
The full video, posted by Hau on Facebook, now has more than 100,000 views and Comeau is finally getting some interested buyers. And that's what really matters here.
As much as this project is a nice addition to their portfolios, Comeau really does want the damn thing gone.
"I’m actually trying to sell. It’s been over a year," he said. "When I do sell it and get a new car we’re probably going to make a new video to thank everyone."