19 Signs You Grew Up In A Czech Or Slovak Family

Two of the greatest countries no one has ever heard of.

1. You ate Lentils like 4 times a week and your parents weren't hippies.

2. You called your grandparents "Dedko and Babicka"

While your aunts and uncles were "stryko and strynka".

3. Family meals looked like this;

and this;

and you could never get your friends to come over for dinner because their parents served this;

4. Growing up, you were always the tallest kid in your class.

5. Because your cousins in the old country were all supermodels...

...or hockey players.

6. No one could ever pronounce your last name.

For the billionth time, the "h" is silent.

7. Your house decor of choice was "boho" chic...

...because every surface was covered in intricate hand-embroidered doilies your Babicka made.

8. Chances are you had one of these hanging up somewhere;

9. Your Mom and Dad made you dance Beseda.

Sorry, guys, I can't play after school. I have to nail the Polka before Saturday.

10. But that shit was intense because families judged each other on how intricate their Krojs were.

Look at those sleeves, she's obviously from the wrong side of the tracks.

11. Forget Barbies. As a little girl, your mom gave you one of these to play with;

12. Your Dad or Dedko always had a bottle of this around:

and if you complained of having a sore throat, they'd make you drink some. Consequently, you were never sick.

13. During the Second Chenchen war, your friends were convinced you were "Chechnyan".

Because "Czech" and "Chenchen" sound the same to a fifth grader.

14. Your Babicka would spit and curse each time she saw this at the Grocery Store.

15. And you made fun of the kid whose parents named him Igor, because it made you think of this;

but then he grew up to look like this;

Dammit boy.

16. At Christmas, you and your cousins would each get their own plate of these;

Forget trying to make them on your own as an adult because you'd set your kitchen on fire.

17. When your friends talk about wearing their grandmother's wedding gown, you'd get a little envious.

(because this is what their grandmothers wore)

and your Babicka's dress looked like this;

18. And it didn't matter anyway; you were eloping because at every wedding someone would do this;

19. But really, you wouldn't change a thing, they're your family and they made you everything you are today.

And you don't mess with the family.

Pravda vítězí!