23 Signs You Work In Sales

Money, money, money, money.

1. You turn everything into a competition.

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2. You’ve started to compare price tags to commission percentages.

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3. You greet everyone with a handshake.

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Even your best mate’s new fling.

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4. You call the same companies so often, you can recite their answering machines.

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5. And you’ve also grown to like the music they play when you’re on hold.

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6. You’ve trained yourself to scan everything for fine print.

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7. And are on first name terms with every receptionist in the west end…

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8. You’ve forgotten what sleep is.

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9. You’ve started to use sales jargon in all your personal calls.

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10. You like to banter with telesales callers, as you have common ground, but you still won’t buy from them.

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11. You don’t feel right in clothes that aren’t tailored…

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12. You find yourself bartering with everyone in the attempt for a deal.

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Bartenders, take-away owners, dry cleaners… no one is safe against your wrath.

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13. You’ve forgotten what an actual lunch break is.

And you’d much rather wallow in your own stress with a bottle of wine.

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14. And you’re pretty sure your basic human rights are violated on a daily basis…

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15. You’re scared to look at your phone on the weekends, as you might get sucked into your never-ending workload.

Emails, email, and more emails.

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16. On the weekdays you’re told it’s your cash register….

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17. You always change the subject when people ask you about your job.

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18. You have no time to spend your money on personal matters, so you waste it on stupid extravagances when intoxicated.

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19. Which means Fridays are a write-off.

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20. You often feel like you’re working to fund your boss’ BMW.

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21. You envy your friends who get to clock off at five.

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22. And you spend hours thinking of other ways you could be spending your time.

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23. But in your heart you know you could never quit, because sales is like a drug, and you love it.

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