1. The Christmas Consultant (2012)
David Hasselhoff plays a weird, lonely old man named Owen who also happens to be a much sought-after “Christmas Consultant” (a totally not made-up job) who is hired by an overworked mother to help her plan her family’s holiday celebration. In a shocking turn of events, she gets upset when her family likes Owen more than her. It all conveniently ends with a happy (and totally coincidental) ending.
2. Will You Merry Me? (2008)
Rebecca Fine, an upper class Jewish girl from Los Angeles gets engaged to her Midwesterner boyfriend Henry Kringle (GET IT?) Their future in-laws meet. Hilarity and hijinks ensue, apparently.
3. Christmas on the Bayou (2013)
Because nothing says “Yuletide” like the sweltering swamps of Southern Louisiana.
4. The Christmas Blessing (2005)
In this sequel to The Christmas Shoes, Neil Patrick Harris meets the kid from Two and a Half Men, who just moved to town with his dad. NPH has a thing with the kid’s teacher, who winds up in the hospital with liver problems. Just when you think she’s gonna die, the kid dies and gives his liver to the teacher, saving her. Rob Lowe is somehow involved.
5. A Christmas Visitor (2002)
A family who no longer celebrates Christmas because their son died in the war invites a hobo in, and then they celebrate Christmas again and then the hobo is their son’s ghost. Go figure.
6. A Carol Christmas (2003) / It’s Christmas, Carol! (2012)
Same poo, different giftwrapped box.
7. A Princess for Christmas (2011)
A woman, who’s raising her sister’s kids, unquestioningly goes with the nice man at her doorstep who tells her to come to her estranged relative’s castle (called “Castlebury”) for Christmas. She meets and marries a duke’s son whose last name happens to be Prince. Ugh.
8. The Thanksgiving House (2013)
A “Thanksgiving Scrooge” of a woman inherits a house only to discover that a local historian believes that the house is the site of the first Thanksgiving. The only thing more unrealistic than the idea that someone discovered the exact place where the first Thanksgiving took place is that the local historian is younger than 65 and a total hottie. Oh yeah, and the woman and the sexy historian end up together.
9. Christmas in Canaan (2009)
It has Christmas, wounded puppies, friends overcoming racism, and Billy Ray Cyrus. It’s definitely the best present of all.
10. A Holiday Heist (2011)
Not to be confused with 2012’s “Home Alone 5: The Holiday Heist”, this Breakfast Club wannabe replaces the detention with college-aged museum employees being held hostage by art thieves. I can’t decide if this sounds better or worse than Home Alone 5.