Hear these vicious minions of fashion.
Fashion wants to be taken very seriously
Hi! I'm a designer bag. Wear me and you will belong into the elite. In the other hand, if you don't wear me that means that you are poor.. and being poor means that you are stupid, don't have ambition and couldn't even marry a decent person with a nice income. When you wear me, you have the right to look down on others. You and I will set the standards for fashion -and dignity. Who wants to be lower class!?
Fashion wants to get physical
Hey! We are skinny jeans, shapewear and high heels. We are here to provide you a nice selection of health issues. You can trip over and hurt yourself or just have your feet screwed up. What about bloating, heartburn and indigestion - guess which one of us will bring you all of those!? If that's not enough, you can also choose a lack of oxygen that will make you feel sick and tired. We -just like all fashion items- might also come with a surprise - poisonous chemicals or metals that cause allergy! Have fun with us!
Fashion wants to set your body image
Hello, I am a certain brand crop top that everyone wears and I want you to wear me too.. but eww! Get rid of that fat belly first. I come from a brand that has sizes only up to size M, because if you wear a bigger size, you are a fatso. But hey, what if you buy this diet magazine first! It tells you how to lose 20 kilos in 2 days. It also gives tips how to quit eating for good and carry on exercising 6 hours a day! The models are photoshopped, but you get the point, girl - that's what you should look like. OMG EW your face tho... well, I might forgive you your face if you get in shape.
Fashion wants to re-create your body
Hey girl! We are breast implants. You will have great boobs after you buy us. Even if we might come with complications like breast pain, capsular contracture aka hardening (when we're hardened we don't cause hard-ons, tehee!), infection, toxic shock syndrome and many more, we are great because you can become a model with us and all the boys will love you and us together. You will be happy with yourself because of us! If you don't want us, we will be very sad, but if that is the case, then please consider about our friends - other types of cosmetic surgery or our little sisters, botox and fillers. You can also have us all! Get addicted, you will never have to stop! Operation once a day keeps the aging away, hihi!
Fashion wants your economy
Well Hello! I'm a credit card! You just read all those stories about the lovely things above, Now you want them all, but you cannot afford them, I know, girl. This is common. No worries, I can help! Buy as much as you want! It is free! ..or I mean, it's almost free. It means that you can shop now and get in a serious trouble later.
Fashion wants your soul
Hey lovely! We are the latest disposable trendy items! Cool people wear us. Only the uncool don't! We are made of animal fur so we are sorry about the bunnies that got killed, but we are worth it! And those cool guys next to us are made in an illegal sweatshop and therefore we produce money for mafia. You don't need to consider about those things or think about other options because the most important thing is that you will look good this season. Besides of having us, you will only need to obsess about your looks and getting dressed. We mean obsess. You know, looking good is the most important thing in your life. Hurry tho, we will be so last season after 2 months and we want you to try us on before we go to the garbage bin. Environmental issues? It means the unfashionable, so last season people spoiling your environment, right?
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