9 Things About Living In Vegas That You Wish Everyone Else Understood

Do you live in Las Vegas? Are you tired of people asking stupid questions? Me too.

Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas! You can leave now.

Duane Prokop / Via Las Vegas Review-Journal

Las Vegas is certainly a place that everyone seems to have something to say about, but most of the time, the people who have the most to say have never even been to Vegas. Or they have been here and they’re still bitter about losing $1000 dollars at the Blackjack table during their bachelor party weekend back in 2000. So here’s a list of all the things Las Vegans need you to understand.

1. WE DON'T LIVE IN CASINOS.

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I know... At this very moment, everything you've ever known is a lie, but are you really that much of a moron? By your logic, a city of 2 Million people is supposed fit into all 62,000 hotel rooms. If you do the math, that's 33 people per room plus their kids, all of their personal belongings and your stupid ass who's visiting from out of town. Does that sounds realistic to you?

Let's have a short geography lesson...

Google Maps

Las Vegas is located in Clark County and Clark County is the size of New Jersey. That tiny yellow line is the Las Vegas YOU know, but the area outlined in red is the Las Vegas I know. So let me ask you again... Do you really think we all live in casinos?

2. NOT ALL THE GIRLS WHO LIVE HERE ARE STRIPPERS OR HOOKERS.

Giphy / Via giphy.com

Not every girl moves to Vegas with plans of becoming a stripper. Only the girls with daddy issues end up in the circuit. Not to mention the number of male and gay strip clubs that exist here. And ladies, don't think you're getting away on this one either, because odds are, that tall, buff, blonde-haired, sun tanned macho man you're talking to is headed straight to Share after his day shift at Encore Beach Club.

3. WE HATE GOING TO THE LAS VEGAS STRIP.

The Office / Via giphy.com

We're really glad you came to visit, but hanging out on the strip is the last thing we want to do.

Yeah, we know.

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But do you really think I want to sit in traffic, deal with stupid tourists and their selfie sticks, and follow you around while you galavant through Caesars Palace?

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4. NO, I DON'T HAVE ANY HOOKUPS TO CLUBS, SHOWS, OR POOL PARTIES.

Giphy / Via giphy.com

Let's get one thing straight; just because I live here doesn't mean I have the hookup everywhere I go. In fact, I hate clubbing, the shows are all subpar, and I've never even set foot in a Vegas pool in fear that I would catch every HIV virus known to man.

I know what you're thinking right now...

giphy / Via giphy.com

"You're telling me that you live here and don't have any friends who can hook us up with bottle service and a cabana at Mandalay Bay beach? Get out of town!"

No sir, you get out of town.

Giphy / Via giphy.com

5. WE'RE NOT ON VACATION EVERYDAY.

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We can't just drop everything we're doing to go to the club or come hang out with you until 5am. We have jobs just like the rest of you and we hate them just as much as you do.

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6. WE DON'T HANGOUT WITH CELEBRITIES.

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Spotting a celebrity in Vegas isn't hard, but spending the time to find them isn't really worth it to us. Just because Kim K comes into town doesn't mean we'll be hanging with her in the top floor penthouse of the Palms. We're locals, not celebrities.

7. THERE'S NOTHING ELSE TO DO EXCEPT PARTY.

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I hate to break it to you, but yes there is. Granted, we're the best in the world when it comes to partying, but please refer to numbers 3-5 of this list. We're locals and we know how to have a good time away from all the debauchery.

Here's an example... Red Rock Canyon. Bet you didn't know this existed just 30 minutes from the strip.

Best Hike / Via besthike.com

8. GIRLS DON'T DRESS LIKE SLUTS.

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We get it, ladies. You're in Vegas to have a good time, but I can assure you all of us locals are laughing at you as you walk by struggling to walk in those 8 inch heels that your daddy bought you for your 18th birthday three years ago.

Giphy / Via giphy.com

9. WE DON'T LIKE HATERS.

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We know that not everyone will find Vegas as amazing as we do, because if they did, they would live here, but just because you don't like Las Vegas doesn't mean you can go around calling it a debaucherous wasteland every chance you get. This is our home. How would you like it if we came to your home town and talked badly about it to everyone? You wouldn't. So don't do it here.