1. Trader Joe’s grocery bags are not suitable trash cans.
2. It’s 6 months not 3 years between teeth cleanings. *PLEASE USE DENTAL INSURANCE WHILE YOU HAVE IT.
3. Your 10-minute treadmill workout will STOP producing results in your late 20’s.
4. You know that job you bitch about everyday. QUIT! Nothing bad will happen.
12. It is not ok to use coffee filters when the toilet paper runs out.
13. Playing Beer Pong & Flip Cup with a girl is NOT a real date.
16. You won’t find your passion or calling clicking entry level jobs on Craig’s List.
17. Stretching is not a sign of weakness. Either is Yoga. Start doing both.
18. The best way to get what you want is to help others get what they want.
19. Stop holding bottles of alcohol in pictures. First off, not that cool. Second, your entire family will be on Facebook in the future.
20. The sooner you take that Scarface poster off your wall, the better. Actually, that goes for all your posters.
23. Unpaid parking tickets don’t disappear. They become expensive car registration.
24. Jessica Alba will be married with two kids and they’re not yours. Let her go.
26. Chipotle is not health food. It will eventually turn into stomach fat.
27. Don’t stress if your career feels like a game of chutes and ladders.
28. Write down your goals and do one thing everyday that will help you achieve them.
32. Stop taking credit cards to the bar. Forgetting to “Close Out” doesn’t mean they won’t swipe your card.
33. If you ever have the urge to post a “SELFIE” go volunteer or do something selfless.
34. Things you need to ween off of. 1) Trips to Vegas. 2) Jagr 3) Burritos past 3:00am. 4) Techno Music 5) The Office (things aren’t the same after Steve Carell Leaves)
35. And go do something nice for an employee at Borders.
In The News Today
- FIFA has suspended its president Sepp Blatter, secretary general Jerome Valcke, and vice-president Michel Platini for 90 days. ›
- It could take more than a year for Volkswagen to fix all its cars with diesel engines rigged to evade emissions tests, the company's U.S. CEO said. ›