31 Tweets That Prove Kobe Bryant Is Totally Losing It

As the Lakers’ season rapidly unravels, Kobe Bryant has turned his young Twitter into a completely bizarre exercise in trying to seem like an actual human.

1. Here’s the tweet that kicked off the Kobe Bryant Twitter Experience. It was a perfect inaugural tweet: it acknowledged Kobe’s reputation as a borderline sociopath and created a bizarre signature hashtag.

2. From there, we went down the rabbit hole very quickly. Kobe quickly started using Twitter to basically psychoanalyze himself in public —

3. — and to prove how hard he has been/is/will be working.

4. I’m not exactly sure what this means.

5. Here, he turns a Gandhi quote into bulletin-board material for crushing a basketball opponent.

6. And here, he, teammate Dwight Howard, and coach Mike D’Antoni try to riff off reports of team tension. Instead, they just look confused, and the team continues to lose.

The mamba vs d12 !! It's on lol http://t.co/cZQO5Avf

— kobebryant (@Kobe Bryant)

7. Kobe applauds other athletes for displaying the same insane aggressiveness that he does.

We just saw why bama will be bcs champs @10AJMcCarron and @barrettAjones not afraid to confront each other in order to win. #respect

— kobebryant (@Kobe Bryant)

8. Reminder: Kobe is intense. Did you know this? #mambatweets

Ready to sleep. I'm getting edgy already waiting for tomorrow's opportunity #mambatweets

— kobebryant (@Kobe Bryant)

9. “I have to step outside of the this frustration. Good job, bro. Too bad we lost.”

I have to step outside of this frustration and say congrats to @SteveNash 10,000. Amazing accomplishment Wish we could have gotten u theW

— kobebryant (@Kobe Bryant)

10. I’ll just let this sit here for a bit.

Goodnight/good luck kiss from my shorty rock. http://t.co/rudYpMkv

— kobebryant (@Kobe Bryant)

11. Why did he just @ Sarah Hyland? Ahhhhhhhh

Had a great day off relaxing on set with #ModernFamily won't be the last time I stop by @Sarah_Hyland way 2 many laughs! Thank you Fox

— kobebryant (@Kobe Bryant)

12. This is the point where Kobe starts what becomes a long-running Twitter joke of his: ice baths, and how much they suck, and how he does them all the time even though they suck.

Legs r sore Anyone out there,celebrity or not, care to try this sh*t? Tweet me a pic Misery loves company #assfrozen http://t.co/AkhWp5EK

— kobebryant (@Kobe Bryant)

13. LOL *you’re dead*

“@Msaleh14: @kobebryant Kobe I tried it. It's actually not as bad as I thought. http://t.co/ozp8ri1S” LOL

— kobebryant (@Kobe Bryant)


“@teena_797: @kobebryant Ice, ice baby😀 #AssFrozen 💓💓⛄⛄ http://t.co/raajqphs” vanilla ice reference !

— kobebryant (@Kobe Bryant)

15. I don’t really understand what Kobe’s reaction means.

“@frankiep2096: @kobebryant u even inspired #MantiTeo girlfriend #Lenny #assfrozen lol http://t.co/Y4jXh5Dg” WOW. Really??

— kobebryant (@Kobe Bryant)

16. “The tub of youth, which Juan Ponce de Leon obsessed over for years.”

The tub of youth is calling me tonight! Lol

— kobebryant (@Kobe Bryant)

17. Poor dog.

“@blazin4lif3: @kobebryant #assfrozen got ice ? Lol http://t.co/MUyql6rc” ha! I love dogs!

— kobebryant (@Kobe Bryant)

18. Kobe stamping a picture of him and his wife and Bill Clinton with @kobebryant = priceless.

Great event with President Clinton and @KVBFF for renovation of Step Up on Vine! http://t.co/jloJ95XE

— kobebryant (@Kobe Bryant)

19. Kobe stamping a picture of his daughter with @kobebryant = priceless-er.

Happy Birthday to our lil baby Natalia! 10 today :-) Where does the time go? http://t.co/txihiWaO

— kobebryant (@Kobe Bryant)

20. Without Twitter, we’d have no idea that Kobe watches his daughter’s favorite movies when he’s on the road. For example, Pitch Perfect. #fatamy

Wish I was with my fam now for Nanis bday. I'm bout to watch her fav movie "pitch perfect" and rest up for the raptors tmr am #fatamy

— kobebryant (@Kobe Bryant)

21. And when Kobe likes a movie, he gets to tell the actors on Twitter that they rocked it.

“@ZareenAysha: “@RebelWilson: @kobebryant thanks Kobe, luv Fat Amy xx” "I'm gonna finish him like a cheesecake"" lol. You rocked that film

— kobebryant (@Kobe Bryant)

22. Kobe then printed this tweet out and ate it.

“@MoneyMike4983: @kobebryant did you get cookies tonight?” Lol I love the trash talk bro :-) good one. Till the next time..

— kobebryant (@Kobe Bryant)

23. Congratulations, your doubts have been personally refuted by Kobe Bryant. Now stop doubting.

“@bballSource: @16to17 Welp, they're written in a voice that doesn't match my impression of him” yes it's me writing. Bad grammar n all

— kobebryant (@Kobe Bryant)

24. Seeing Kobe trying to convince us that he has a sense of humor is worth the price of admission all on its own.

It's been real. Will check n with u all tmr. Taking my old ass to sleep lol #CountOnKobesnoring

— kobebryant (@Kobe Bryant)

25. Here begins a nice run of Kobe trying to convince everyone that he feels anything after losing aside from searing, unquenchable anger.

Great game by James, wade and the heat. Tip my hat. We r getting better. Still plenty of work to do and puzzles to fit #keepfocus

— kobebryant (@Kobe Bryant)

26. Continued:

This one is on meCouldn't throw the ball in the ocean if I was sitting on a boat. Had plenty of easy looks#noexcuses gotta get my legs back

— kobebryant (@Kobe Bryant)

27. Continued, plus a picture of a literal brick wall #metaphors:

No one is more critical of my game then me. #brickcity past few games but they will fall and we will win #countonit http://t.co/K7R6W1MO

— kobebryant (@Kobe Bryant)

28. Now shut up.

“@tlahoopin24: Lakers r only 2 & 1/2 games back from the 8th spot. Buh we gotta start winning games @kobebryant” we will.

— kobebryant (@Kobe Bryant)

29. I mean… these hashtags. THESE HASHTAGS.

I have 2 tix for tonight's game in Chicago. Any interest? Btw they are lower bowl seats #countonkobegivingtickets

— kobebryant (@Kobe Bryant)

30. Hi, I’m Kobe Bryant.

Lets get it. http://t.co/Ifyg7pX5

— kobebryant (@Kobe Bryant)

31. And: scene.

Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata calms me down when I reach my breaking point #relaxandfocus http://t.co/i2imK51p

— kobebryant (@Kobe Bryant)

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