U.S. Open Champ Webb Simpson Isn’t Sold On Evolution Or Abortion, But He Likes Coffee

An interview with Webb Simpson, using his goofy tweets.

1. Hey, Webb!

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2. So, you won the U.S. Open yesterday. What was your favorite part of the experience?

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3. I guess that makes this morning pretty special. Any general thoughts on breakfast?

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8. OK! Coffee. What’s the normal type of stuff you might be getting up to on a regular day off?

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9. A wholesome activity. What are you thinking for dinner?

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13. I guess Chipotle is all right. Speaking of which, how do you feel about abortion?

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15. Neither of those tweets makes all that much sense, but let’s continue. What about evolution?

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17. Science?

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19. Yeah. Yeah. I hear you have a son, James — you talk about him a bunch. How’s he doing?

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20. Looks like a bro. You going to let him play video games when he’s older?

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21. Guess not! Anyway, I need some catchphrases. Have any you like?

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25. Not really sure about #doodoo taking off. Any others?

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28. Thanks, Borat.

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29. I guess I shouldn’t criticize, after all. I’ll give you one more chance:

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30. “Yum daddy yums” is definitely not going to work. Moving on. What do you like to read?

According to a book review at grace4sinners.blogspot.com, “D. A. Carson has done us all a great service. More and more the cry for tolerance is going forth. … He pinpoints our current problem by pointing out that it’s not an accidental intolerance, rather it’s an intolerance with an agenda … And then how much of the push for tolerance includes the pandering of Islam and force feeding of the gay agenda.”

This sounds really bad.

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31. Any advice for women?

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33. Good times. Any message for people who might not like your answers?

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