U.S. Open Champ Webb Simpson Isn’t Sold On Evolution Or Abortion, But He Likes Coffee

An interview with Webb Simpson, using his goofy tweets.

1. Hey, Webb!

2. So, you won the U.S. Open yesterday. What was your favorite part of the experience?

3. I guess that makes this morning pretty special. Any general thoughts on breakfast?

8. OK! Coffee. What’s the normal type of stuff you might be getting up to on a regular day off?

9. A wholesome activity. What are you thinking for dinner?

13. I guess Chipotle is all right. Speaking of which, how do you feel about abortion?

15. Neither of those tweets makes all that much sense, but let’s continue. What about evolution?

17. Science?

19. Yeah. Yeah. I hear you have a son, James — you talk about him a bunch. How’s he doing?

20. Looks like a bro. You going to let him play video games when he’s older?

21. Guess not! Anyway, I need some catchphrases. Have any you like?

25. Not really sure about #doodoo taking off. Any others?

28. Thanks, Borat.

29. I guess I shouldn’t criticize, after all. I’ll give you one more chance:

30. “Yum daddy yums” is definitely not going to work. Moving on. What do you like to read?

According to a book review at grace4sinners.blogspot.com, “D. A. Carson has done us all a great service. More and more the cry for tolerance is going forth. … He pinpoints our current problem by pointing out that it’s not an accidental intolerance, rather it’s an intolerance with an agenda … And then how much of the push for tolerance includes the pandering of Islam and force feeding of the gay agenda.”

This sounds really bad.

31. Any advice for women?

33. Good times. Any message for people who might not like your answers?