15 Reasons Why This Chinese Film Starring NBA Players Will Be The Greatest Movie Of All Time

Carmelo Anthony, Scottie Pippen, Dwight Howard, Chinese actors, some sort of weird virtual reality narrative, and I just don’t know.

This is the trailer for “Amazing.” It has Carmelo Anthony and Dwight Howard and Scottie Pippen in it. Beyond that, I have literally no idea what’s going on.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=LL3NixF2Uc0.

1. SUPER INTENSE INTRO SCREEN

2. SERIOUSLY, IT’S AMAZING! (??????)

3. Virtual Reality Scientist Guy will show you another world.

4. It’ll probably get these AWESOME jumpsuits into fashion.

5. Dwight blows kisses to a crowd.

6. Melo looks really happy.

7. SCOTTIE PIPPEN!

8. This guy does this.

9. Topless-looking characters shimmy.

10. All-white anime hair.

11. Negatives of people playing basketball.

12. There’s plenty of awkward falling into bed.

13. Scottie Pippen saves the day! I mean, I guess — why else is this dude hugging him?

14. VIRTUAL REALITY ALL-STAR BASKETBALL ACTION

15.

Plot Summary!

According to Li Anlan of the Shanghai Daily (via Ball Don’t Lie):

“Amazing,” a production by the Shanghai Film Group,tells the story of a fictional world known as ‘The Sixth Sense.’ It uses basketball imagery to combine the visual elements of a video game with a movie, akin to the 2010 American science fiction film ‘Tron: Legacy.’

Sounds perfect.