1. Being so amazed that you're actually standing in them that you then stupidly waste 20 minutes of your stamina dancing around in them AT HOME.
"This is fun!" -- Present You, being a total dick to Future You.
Oh, to hell with you too, shoes.
"This is fun!" -- Present You, being a total dick to Future You.
It will be FINE.
"Hello, fellow co-worker, how is business stuff — aaaaaaaand I just stumbled into your crotch."
Because of course you forgot to put insoles in your damn shoes.
Your body in heels is like a building that is not up to code: it could collapse at any minute.
As long as I am seated, no one will know that I am clumsy as hell.
And God help you if you lose your seat.
Every step is now agony, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME, BAND-AIDS?
How drunk do I have to be in order for this not to be gross?
Ugh, I'm really sorry about this, Future Me. :(
NOOOOOOO well, I guess this means this shoe will never hurt me again.
Why are my feet somehow two times as big and four times as painful as they were before?
Why must you be so cruel to us, high heels?!