For Everyone Who Is Sexually Attracted To Chubby Chris Pratt

Come back to us, you puppy-faced prince.

1. In July, Chris Pratt may have dropped a respectable number of panties with his brand-new cheese grater abs, it’s true…

And that is all fine and good.

2. …But chubby Chris Pratt was a total fox of a man mountain.

Jason Merritt / Getty Images

3. And we desperately need him back in our lives. It is critical.

4. Who else but chubby Chris Pratt could make faces like this?

5. Or have the world’s most adorable monkey dance moves?

6. Or steal our hearts even when he is saying adorably dumb things?

7. Chubby Chris Pratt is the world’s foremost authority on delightful double chins.

9. He is the undisputed master of the puppy dog face.

Theo Wargo / Getty Images


10. He’s very dedicated to his craft.

11. The absence of those big rosy cheeks have left a void that cannot be filled.

Frederick M. Brown / Getty Images



oh my god just quit it with all your nuzzling.

13. He has the power to rock both the patchy beard…


14. …or no beard at all.


15. OR NO CLOTHES AT ALL. <3 <3 <3

16. And he had a belly not even Conan could resist touching.


17. His expressively pudgy face is just. so. terribly missed.

Stop breaking my heart, I AM USING IT FOR THINGS.

18. So please, let 2014 be the glorious year in which chubby Chris Pratt comes back to us!

Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

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