1. In July, Chris Pratt may have dropped a respectable number of panties with his brand-new cheese grater abs, it’s true…
And that is all fine and good.
2. …But chubby Chris Pratt was a total fox of a man mountain.
3. And we desperately need him back in our lives. It is critical.
4. Who else but chubby Chris Pratt could make faces like this?
5. Or have the world’s most adorable monkey dance moves?
6. Or steal our hearts even when he is saying adorably dumb things?
7. Chubby Chris Pratt is the world’s foremost authority on delightful double chins.
11. The absence of those big rosy cheeks have left a void that cannot be filled.
13. He has the power to rock both the patchy beard…
14. …or no beard at all.
16. And he had a belly not even Conan could resist touching.
CAN YOU BLAME HIM EVEN?
17. His expressively pudgy face is just. so. terribly missed.
Stop breaking my heart, I AM USING IT FOR THINGS.
18. So please, let 2014 be the glorious year in which chubby Chris Pratt comes back to us!
- Officials released new footage proving Sandra Bland was "alive and well" when her mugshot was taken to counter social media rumors that she was deceased in the photo.
- The U.S. will release Israeli spy Jonathan Pollard after 30 years. The move isn't tied to the Iran nuclear deal, American officials say.
- The NFL has upheld Tom Brady's four-game suspension for his alleged involvement with the deflation of footballs 🏈