1. In July, Chris Pratt may have dropped a respectable number of panties with his brand-new cheese grater abs, it’s true…
And that is all fine and good.
2. …But chubby Chris Pratt was a total fox of a man mountain.
3. And we desperately need him back in our lives. It is critical.
4. Who else but chubby Chris Pratt could make faces like this?
5. Or have the world’s most adorable monkey dance moves?
6. Or steal our hearts even when he is saying adorably dumb things?
7. Chubby Chris Pratt is the world’s foremost authority on delightful double chins.
11. The absence of those big rosy cheeks have left a void that cannot be filled.
13. He has the power to rock both the patchy beard…
14. …or no beard at all.
16. And he had a belly not even Conan could resist touching.
CAN YOU BLAME HIM EVEN?
17. His expressively pudgy face is just. so. terribly missed.
Stop breaking my heart, I AM USING IT FOR THINGS.
18. So please, let 2014 be the glorious year in which chubby Chris Pratt comes back to us!
- A Guatemalan judge ordered former President Otto Perez Molina held in jail overnight while hearings over the corruption scandal that led to his resignation take place. ›
- Prosecutors will seek the death penalty for Dylann Roof, accused of killing nine people in a Charleston church in June. ›
- The Justice Dept. has tightened rules on cell phone tracking, forcing federal agencies to get a warrant. ›