2. And it’s impossible to wear them for more than 15 seconds without them bunching up between your thighs.
The first person to design shorts that don’t do that is going to make Scrooge McDuck amounts of money.
3. Plus, when you’re sitting, your thighs somehow double in size.
Look, EITHER FIT ME OR DON’T, SHORTS.
9. And no skirt ever fits you the same in the front as it does it the back.
12. Because underboob sweat can and will strike at any moment.
By the middle of the afternoon, all of your tank tops will look like they’re wearing contouring makeup.
14. And you HATE having to choose between covering up more and getting too hot.
RAWWWWWWRRRR YOU WON’T LIKE ME WHEN I’M SWEATY.
15. But if you sit around totally naked, you’ll end up sweatier than you could ever possibly imagine.
16. No bathing suit fits you well in both the boobs and the butt.
19. Bikini bottoms only come in two sizes: digging into your hips, or falling off of them.
20. When you wear a screen-printed tank top, your boobs are going to stretch it out to death.
Whatever, you’re wearing it anyway.