14 Signs Your Young Adult Novel Is Going To Tank

Abort, abort your novel is going downhill fast. All tweets by Rachel Edidin.

1. Does an old white man use the word nubile?

2. Is there non-corporeal sex?

3. Is it soundtracked to the early 2000’s?

4. Is it titled Aryan Pride and Prejudice?

5. Is your strong female protagonist plain and homely, yet mysteriously eye-catching anyway?

6. Is your strong female protagonist the only female anything?

Have you mentioned in this chapter that your protagonist is not like other girls? You should make sure to do that.

— WorstMuse (@The Worst Muse)

7. Does it have TWICE the exposition?

Retrograde amnesia.

— WorstMuse (@The Worst Muse)

8. Is anything the exact shade of ~fanfiction blue~ ?

It'd go over great if your narrator looked in the mirror and compared their own eyes to a really specific body of water.

— WorstMuse (@The Worst Muse)

9. Is there love in the wrong place?

Corgis are hot these days, right? What about, like, werecorgis? Edgy, urban werecorgis looking for love in all the wrong places.

— WorstMuse (@The Worst Muse)

10. Is it too real for even Wolverine?

Like Wolverine, but grittier.

— WorstMuse (@The Worst Muse)

11. Is a young Zooey Deschanel your dreamcasting for this character?

What if she has a charmingly quirky hobby, like tatting or butoh?

— WorstMuse (@The Worst Muse)

12. Is your protag named Mary Sue? Or Gary Stu?

You SHOULD base your protagonist on you. Disguise him by giving him really intense green eyes and an ancestral weapon. You don't have those!

— WorstMuse (@The Worst Muse)

13. Did True Blood already do it?

Go ahead. Make him a vampire. Make them ALL vampires.

— WorstMuse (@The Worst Muse)

14. Are there white people?

White people.

— WorstMuse (@The Worst Muse)

#ff @WorstMuse, they are here to help. @WorstMuse is written by Rachel Ediden.

I am here to help.

— WorstMuse (@The Worst Muse)

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