1. Money isn't important, especially if you're a human that gets paid in dog treats.
2. Definitely put your dick in anything you'd put in your mouth.
4. Do whatever you need to do to get on TV.
5. Porn is always the easiest excuse to use on your parents.
6. Drown your sorrows at the nearest bar.
7. Puns are the best way to help a friend who's literally burning to death in front of you.
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9. Hide in the skin of your enemies.
10. Eat all the things.
11. Try sitting on a banana at least once in your life.
12. Violence will solve your problems. Better yet, fratricide by whale.
13. Definitely allow peer pressure to push you into doing things you don't understand.
14. Don't delegate, subjugate.
15. There's nothing more important than the booty.
16. Don't be afraid to ask about genitals. People love talking about their genitals.
17. arthur PLS
