You may have seen a little movie called Jurassic World this weekend.
And maybe you were a little skeptical going in. After all Jurassic Park is a masterpiece and how on earth can you improve upon shirtless Jeff Goldblum?
But against all odds (and common sense), Jurassic World did it.
IT MADE YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH A BUNCH OF CGI VELOCIRAPTORS. FOUR ANDY SERAKII* IN MOCAP SUITS WITH PING-PONG BALLS ON THEM.
*Serkaii is not the plural of Serkis, but it's poetic as fuck so work with me here.
Charlie, Delta, Echo, BUT ESPECIALLY Blue are the real heroes of this emotional saga.
Let me count the ways in which the Raptor Squad saved this movie, saved the world.
The Raptor Squad dared us to imagine a world which we could never have imagined before.
A world where you were unconditionally loved by an adorable lethal killing machine.
A world where women really do inherit the earth (after eating man).
And children didn't fear Blue and her ilk, but instead saw them as the bringers of true wisdom and joy that they are.
The Raptor Squad gave us goals. Goals so lofty our fellow man couldn't begin to compute.
The most important of which were squad goals. WHAT OTHER MOVIE* TEACHES INTERSPECIES ACCEPTANCE AND TEAMWORK?!?!
*A lot of movies apparently, but this is the only one that matters.