17 Mean Tricks Drunk You Always Plays On Sober You

    Drunk You is such a dick.

    Kirsten King
    by Kirsten King

    BuzzFeed Staff

    1. Drunk You likes to text people with the accuracy of a newborn using a cellphone.

    2. And when that sneaky asshole finally does get a text out, it's to an ex.

    3. And Drunk You is so goddamn evolved they will even highjack Sober You's emails.

    4. Drunk You loves wearing heels. Who cares if Sober You can't walk in them?

    5. Drunk You walks like a baby giraffe, leaving Sober You to figure out where those bruises came from.

    6. Drunk You absolutely NEEDS to eat four hamburgers. Who cares if Sober You's stomach is destroyed the next day?

    7. And Drunk You loves eating your roommate's food. And who is left to apologize for it? Sober You. What a jerk!

    8. Drunk You sends some questionable pictures because that jerk wants to document all their ridiculous choices.

    9. One of Drunk You's favorite activities is losing your keys, and Sober You will be left wondering what kind of monster broke into their house.

    10. Drunk You has horrible taste in hookup partners, and who has to deal with it the next morning? Sober You.

    11. And unlike Sober You, Drunk You a total friggin' baller and will abuse Sober You's bank account.

    12. And then Drunk You is like, "I'm gonna smash your phone. And step on it. And then drop it down a well."

    13. Oh and it doesn't matter if Sober You isn't a smoker, because Drunk You will totally share a cigarette. Why not!

    14. Drunk You will leave little presents around the house for Sober You to find the next morning.

    15. Drunk You also doesn't like to change into normal sleeping clothes, just to remind Sober You who really runs the show.

    16. And if Drunk You is really feeling like an asshole, they might give you a little haircut.

    17. And to top it all off, Drunk You has the audacity leave notes to rub their wild night in Sober You’s face.