1. When you were excited for Valentines Day, not because of the prospect of spending a romantic night with another human being, but rather because you knew on February 15th all that candy would be on sale.
2. When you got home at 2:00am and realized that going home from the bar alone doesn’t feel so lonely when you have a cheesy pizza to keep you warm at night. Literally, you may have woken up with pizza in your bed.
3. When you realized you don’t have to compromise; you CAN have everything you want, and it comes in the form of two-pound burrito.
4. When you fell in love with sushi, not only because it is delicious, but also because it’s guilt-free and looks better in all your Instagrams than you do.
5. When you went to brunch and as the grease coursed through your veins, you slowly felt yourself transform from hungover gremlin to functioning human being.
6. When you ate anything chocolate and remembered that consuming your feelings is way better than dealing with them.
7. When you learned there was such a thing as grilled mac and cheese, and you realized there are undiscovered wonders left in the world.
8. When you went to a social event where there was buffalo chicken dip that allowed you to avoid all awkward conversations and stay in the corner sharing an intimate moment with the party food.
9. When Girl Scout cookie season came and reminded you that you are a good person because you binge-eat for the children.
10. When you had the sad realization that you only woke up, went to work, and basically lived your day merely waiting for the next meal.
- The CIA has officially—but very quietly—admitted that some allegations about its torture program were true.
- The U.S. government is suing Ferguson, Missouri, after the city tried to change a negotiated police reform settlement.
- New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie has dropped out of the 2016 Republican presidential race after poor results in New Hampshire 🇺🇸