1. The Beagle Boys
Sure, the Beagle Boys have a terrible track record, but there are dozens of them. If they all attacked at once, it would only take a single stray bullet… and Scrooge is one dead duck.
2. The Ark of the Covenant
One of the greatest treasures of all creation, if Scrooge got his hands (wings?) on the Ark of the Covenant, he’d doubtlessly look upon his prize… and suffer God’s face-melting wrath.
3. Launchpad McQuack
Launchpad McQuack crashed every single plane he ever flew, miraculously without any casualties. Eventually that luck would have to run out — especially if Scrooge was traveling without his Number One Dime.
4. Bombie the Zombie
History forgot Bombie the Zombie, but Bombie never forgot Scrooge.
Patiently Bombie followed its prey across the globe, year after year, untiring, unending, with Scrooge never knowing that danger lurked behind him…
5. Count Duckula
Not the silly vegetarian vampire, but one of his deadly ancestors.
While in search of Transylvania’s Coin of the Lost Realm (one of the treasures in the DuckTales video game), did Scrooge run afoul of this vampire duck and make an unintended deposit at a blood bank?
6. Glittering Goldie
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned… especially a former lover like Goldie, who was left hanging while her boyfriend became a multiplujillionaire and had 75 years to get really mad about it.
After the 1967 release of the Patterson-Gimlin Bigfoot film, there’s no way Scrooge could resist the adventure (and profit) of capturing a Sasquatch.
There’s a chance he journeyed into the Calisota wilderness where, like Bigfoot, he was never seen again.
8. Space Disaster
Perhaps Scrooge tried to win the Space Race — and the moon’s Green Cheese of Longevity (another treasure from the DuckTales video game) — only to lose his life in the final frontier.
While most scholars believe Scrooge would never do such a thing, 1967 is the year another British businessman took his own life.
Coincidence? Or was Mad Men secretly paying an homage to Scrooge’s suicide?