The 18 Stages Of Playing Mario Kart

The most stressful night of fun you’ll ever have.

1. You’re in the mood for some Mario Kart awesomeness.

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2. “This is going to be the best night ever,” you decide.

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3. You sit down to play, and you are all like:

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4. You pick out your character and your vehicle, and you are so ready.

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5. Things are off to a good start when you get right out in first place at the beginning of your first race.

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6. Then you get hit with one of your own green shells and you are just like:

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7. Falling off of Rainbow Road a dozen times in a row is inevitable.

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“This level was designed by the devil incarnate,” you think to yourself.

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8. Many races in, you finally get ahead of that really annoying person you’ve been stuck with for the past half hour.

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9. But you get hit with a blue shell in the third lap.

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10. Then you accidentally hit your significant other with a red shell. No sense trying to hide it.

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11. At some point you manage to get in first place against some really good people.

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12. But, like all good things, the winning streak doesn’t last long.

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13. Later, things do a complete 180 when you get in last place against some really awful people.

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14. At some point you get a banana in last place and curse the Item Box gods.

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15. You revel in some really good shell hits and banana placements, but still only wind up in fourth place.

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16. You realize the agony of defeat would be easier to take with a few drinks in you.

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17. So you grab a drink and start over.

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18. When you are sufficiently tipsy, you play much better.

At least it seems that way.

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The night is a success!

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You are so good at this game!

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