Dear Men, We Don't Owe You Our Bodies
A rant about the male 90-day rule. Don't be petty.
Men have tried to flip the script on women once again. Recently, on The Real, the talk show host discussed whether a man should wait 90 days to spend money on a woman. The discussion about who pays for the date has been a topic for some time — but now men have taken it a bit further.
I have heard some men say that they don't believe that they should have to pay for dates if they don't get laid at the end of the night. The idea that sex is repayment for a date is unreasonable. This is the reason the 90-day rule was created in the first place. If a man is only seeking to have sex with a woman, then he isn't the type of a man she should be dating. The 90-day rule was created so that women can weed out the creeps and find a gentleman. Some women have jumped into bed with guys who seemed to be "good guys" only to find out that their perceived "prince" has stopped returning their calls.
Overall, it's a screening process, that allows a woman to see the cracks in a man's character. Basically, the rule was created to protect women against the type of men who would try to manipulate the rule to in order to justify their agenda. If a man doesn't want to take a chance on a woman by spending a couple of dollars, then he doesn't really care about her.
Furthermore, let's get real, a man knows exactly what type of person a woman is within the first 30 minutes of conversation. He is able to pick out the girl with daddy issues, the one who is sexually liberal, the confident woman and the one with low self-esteem. He knows if he wants to pursue a relationship with a woman from the get-go. I have three brothers so I will not allow anyone to tell me otherwise.
I need men to understand that sex and money are not equal. If a man thinks a woman owe's him, her body after he buys her gifts, then he is putting a price on her body. Let's be honest, most men are not spending thousands of dollars on a woman. He may take her to dinner and a movie or out dancing — but nothing too extravagant. I'm upset that men expect women to drop their panties after cheap dates because he believes she is in some way indebted to him. In all honesty, when we care about someone, we don't expect them to pay us back; we do it out of the kindness of our hearts.
This idea that women owe men something after kind gestures erily clashes between male arrogance and rape culture. Men need to do away with this idea that our bodies belong to them. Potential dating candidates are just that. There is no guarantee a man will even be by a woman's side or support her emotionally after he sleeps with her. So if you're one of the men who thinks that we owe you our bodies, I urge you to reconsider.
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