1. Wake up and blast your favorite song because maybe today won’t be that bad.
2. Tell your friends that you hate your birthday, while secretly hoping that they plan something amazing like a dinner with everyone you love, which magically turns into a cuddle party, or you know, getting wasted, whatever you’re into.
3. But don’t get too excited.
You haven’t had a good birthday ever since that boy ruined the magician’s trick at your 7th birthday party and made you stop believing in magic or love or happiness.
5. Discreetly cry at work when everyone forgets what day it is because your birthday falls on a weekday.
Send your weekly work email with a not so subtle picture as a reminder that they should be celebrating your existence. If you’re lucky, they’ll give you wine at the end of the day.