This post has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can create a post or quiz. Try making your own!

    30 Crime Shows That Should Never Be Made

    The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre's new comedy show about crime is called Minging Detectives (at Edinburgh Fringe this August). But you should see the titles they rejected (illustrated by Beano artist Kev F)...

    Kev F
    by Kev F

    Community Brand Publisher

    30. Cagney and Lace-Up

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    They're socks, expect a lot of footwear related puns here.

    29. The Pong Good Friday

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    If you've not seen this Helen Mirren and Bob Hoskins classic we may have just ruined it for you.

    28. Brechin Bad

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    Did we mention they're Scottish? Trust us, if you know the East Coast of Scotland, this reference is hilarious. See also: The Name Of The Montrose

    27. Shin City

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    Footwear, parts of the leg, anything goes.

    26. Brighton Socks

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    They call him Pinky. Used to be whitey but he mixed with the wrong kinda crowd in the washing machine.

    25. Broadfitting

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    David Tennant and her off of Peep Show get miserable in slow motion on a beach.

    24. GoodSmellas

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    I'm funny? What? I make you laugh? Am I some sort of clown? (Yes, you're a comedy double act. Duh.)

    23. Rear Windae

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    We did mention they're Scottish, yes?

    22. The 39 Insteps

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    The 39 Insteps is an organisation - BANG! (That was for the pun)

    21. Hill Street Shoes

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    Let's be careful out there. Though frankly these puns are asking for trouble.

    20. The Third Sock

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    And what have the Swiss invented? The cuckoo clock. But let's blame them for this pun. They can't zither out of it.

    19. Get Shortie

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    Again, if you're Scottish, this is a real knee-slapper.

    18. Angels With Dirty Socks

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    Not that there's a competition for most obscure title to base a pun on...

    17. Size Se7en

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman. That's the Socks doing Brad Pitt and Morgan... yes it does.

    16. Chinatoon

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    Forget it Rick, it's Chinatoon. They're Scottish, did we mention that?

    15. Shersock

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    Remind us to tell you the story about how Benedict Cumberbatch once stole the Scottish Falsetto Socks one day. True.

    14. The Big Slipper

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    "I'm doing my Bogey" "What do I do?" "You do Bacall" "I do quite a lot given the opportunity". ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    13. Lock, Sock and Two Smoking Barrels

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    Some titles have been suggested by members of the public. Did we mention that?

    12. Woollander

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    The Socks would like to point out they have never seen an episode of Wallender. Have they nailed it?

    11. Get Garter

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    Yes it is an item of footwear. Yes that does work. No, YOU get out more.

    10. Clog Day Afternoon

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    It's Al Pacino in a wig robbing a bank so he can get a sex change. You should watch it.

    9. Dixon of Sock Green

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    One for the kids

    8. Pump Fiction

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    Zed's dead baby, Zed's dead. As is our credibility after these gags.

    7. The Usual Socspects

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    You can stop pulling those faces or we'll tell you who Keyser Soze is.

    6. The Postman Always Mings Twice

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    That's the Socks doing Jack Nicholson and Jessica Lange. I know, uncanny.

    5. Brooklyn Size Nine

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    Yes the Socks can do every single character in Brooklyn Nine Nine. Get over it.

    4. Judge Tredd

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    He is the law. (So technically fits into this category, though he should have been in The Socks' 2013 show Socks In Space really)

    3. Strangers On A Trainer

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    The the Socks discussing taking the blame for each other's dastardly puns there.

    2. The Unwashables

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    Starring Kevin Costco as Elliot Mess. You're right, there should be a prohibition on these titles.

    1. Better Call Sole

    ©2015 Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

    No longer Slippering Jimmy... Oh, you've not seen the show yet? Trust us, you'll love it.

    The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre's new show Minging Detectives is at the Edinburgh Fringe throughout August. Book now at edfringe.com

    Want to get your very own quizzes and posts featured on BuzzFeed’s homepage and app?

    Become a Community Contributor.
    promo

    Sign up to get started

    Learn more about Community