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25 Worst ESL Textbooks And Lessons

You wouldn’t believe what salty language foreign students want to learn. Well, actually, you would.

1. Good morning, class.

2. Please turn to chapter 1 in Very Fucking English.

3. Complete this exercise: which animal cares the least?

5. Chapter 2: business etiquette

9. When going abroad, remember your manners.

11. Chapter 3: cheerful condescension

(Disgruntled tutor shop-job via Cynical Travel.)

13. Chapter 4: Foreigners in Japan

(Via Cynical Travel. Teaching ESL is tough, yall.)

16. Please flip to page 36 in this textbook instead:

18. What do you want from life, class?

21. Your regrets?

22. What would you do in this situation?

23. What if you don’t know?

24. Lesson 5: Norf Corean Historie

27. And finally, our world-famous ESL aerobics skit:

29. Go forth. Flourish. You now know business English.

30. I would definitely advise against doing this:

(Note: the London/Canadian/Columbian Scag/Einstein ones appear to be shop-jobs by very disgruntled tutors. The rest, as far as we can tell, are earnest.)

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