1. These class discussions no longer tickle any of your neurons.
2. And every group project finds you in this position.
3. You've exhausted your dating pool, and don't want to awkwardly run into your exes and frenemies on campus anymore.
4. You left all the distributive requirements for the last years, and now they just seem like a sly way to charge you extra thousands.
5. These awkward roommate situations were funny for a while, but now you feel too old for them.
6. And you're too old to live in dorms/communes/frats/sororities.
7. And too old for these sorts of college parties.
8. Maybe you've had to TA a few freshman classes yourself, and realized how difficult hungover freshmen are.
9. And the new freshmen keeping sounding younger and younger to you.
10. You're too comfortable to be socially pressured into things anymore. Or be around people who find thrill in social pressure.
11. You're done getting fleeced by textbook publishers.
12. Juggling school + part-time jobs + poor food and sleep habits isn't something you brag about anymore. You mostly want it to get better.
13. You've had your fill of collegiate culture, relished some bits, rejected others. They're starting to feel quaint.
14. But you don't want to seem like a killjoy, so you zip your mouth.
15. You've learned enough to know that you can learn much by yourself.
16. You'd rather not walk into the financial aid office ever again.
17. Or run up against more campus fines, processing fees and tuition hikes.
18. You find yourself respecting deadlines less and less.
19. ...and getting more easily distracted.
20. Drinking has changed from a momentous, exuberant thing to a constant, dully comforting (sometimes private?) habit.
21. Maybe you know your thesis won't be useful in your future, or maybe you're ready to be paid for its application already.
22. Partying extra years in college sounded attractive a few years ago, but you're ready to move on.
23. You can't wait for "back to school" season to be a joke:
24. But before May, this will be your thesis and alma mater:
