11 Foods Americans Eat That Should Be Abolished

That shit is nasty.

1. Gefilte Fish… Oh Manichewitz!

Typically eaten exclusively by older people, this food smells like old eggs and heartbreak. It tastes even worse.*

*Hey! I got the same thing for my Bat Mitzvah! A jelled, fishy jar of terror.

2. Liver and Onions

Doug’s ultimate fear. For good reason.

3. American Cheese: The Waxiest of the Cheeses

At least the same pack can be used for your yearly barbecue. Every year.

4. Jello Ambrosia Salad: Worst Idea Ever

Dump all your leftovers and bind with pig hooves. Great for dinner parties!

5. Cream of Celery Soup: Celery Flavored Despair

Hot cream, tinted with that delectably earthy flavor of celery, cream of celery soup often comes served with a skin on top, no flavor, and an overwhelming sense of shame.

6. Pork Skins: Dried Flesh

Now that just sounds delicious. Right?

7. Frito Pie: The Definition of a Hot Mess

Nothing says class like eating a meal out of a Frito bag.

8. Spam: Canned meat… Enough Said.

Save a life.

9. Turducken: Bird on Bird on Bird

Has anyone eaten one of these and not gotten food poisoning?

10. Escargot = Slime

Because that looks SO appetizing.

11. Cheesy Ham and Banana Casserole, by Paula Deen

Does this need a comment?

If so, Food Network Humor has this description: “It’s a nasty combination of ham, bananas, bacon, cheese, and potato chips sandwiched between soggy, eggy slices of white bread. And rumor has it that if you can actually swallow one bite down, you’ll instantly get Type II Diabetes.”

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