21 Embarrassing Things Every Muggle Secretly Does

The Muggle struggle is real.

1. Started writing a diary just to see if it would write back.

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And when it didn’t, you were both disappointed and relieved.

2. Quietly muttered “Lumos” when you turn on a light.

And “Nox” when you turn it off.

3. Still silently swoon whenever someone says “always” in any context.

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“I always trim my toenails once a week—”

4. Said “Accio” to try and summon something you’ve misplaced.

Accio the damn remote control.

5. Seen a rat and tried to count the number of toes it had.

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Curiously long life for a common garden rat…

6. Lingered around the snake display case at the zoo, listening very hard.

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“Enemies of the heir beware,” you whisper to the indifferent snakes.

7. Longed to be flushed down a toilet.

Has anyone ever actually tried it? Because it’s 100% possible.

8. Immediately and silently sorted someone you just met into the appropriate Hogwarts House.

“He’s such a Ravenclaw.”

9. Discreetly pressed a hand against the walls in every train station you visit, just in case.

Even if it isn’t King’s Cross Station, there’s still a chance.

10. Still felt the tiniest twinge of hope when you check your mail.

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11. And still felt the inevitable disappointment when the heaviest envelope is just your utilities bill.


12. Been very cautious around any and all willow trees.

13. Felt genuinely afraid of muttering any of the Unforgivable Curses, even as a joke.

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Avada Kedanyway…

14. Looked at a sock and teared up.

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15. Been immediately suspicious of people who wear a lot of pink.

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No Fudgin’ way.

16. Secretly decided what your Horcruxes would be.

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Not that you’d ever kill anyone but come on, constant vigilance, right?

17. Done something embarrassing and whispered “Obliviate,” full of hope.

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What a wonderful world that would be.

18. Looked at your empty tea cup a little too closely.

Gioia De Antoniis / Flickr: jox1989 / Creative Commons


19. Convinced yourself on more than one occasion that you were going to die soon because you kept seeing the Grim.

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And seriously, that breakfast croissant…

20. Said the words “Expecto Patronum” when you were alone and afraid.

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This isn’t at all embarrassing, because it actually helps.

21. Gotten a headache and seriously wondered if all is indeed well…

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