21 Embarrassing Things Every Muggle Secretly Does

The Muggle struggle is real.

1. Started writing a diary just to see if it would write back.

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And when it didn’t, you were both disappointed and relieved.

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2. Quietly muttered “Lumos” when you turn on a light.

And “Nox” when you turn it off.

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3. Still silently swoon whenever someone says “always” in any context.

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“I always trim my toenails once a week—”

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4. Said “Accio” to try and summon something you’ve misplaced.

Accio the damn remote control.

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5. Seen a rat and tried to count the number of toes it had.

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Curiously long life for a common garden rat…

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6. Lingered around the snake display case at the zoo, listening very hard.

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“Enemies of the heir beware,” you whisper to the indifferent snakes.

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7. Longed to be flushed down a toilet.

Has anyone ever actually tried it? Because it’s 100% possible.

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8. Immediately and silently sorted someone you just met into the appropriate Hogwarts House.

“He’s such a Ravenclaw.”

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9. Discreetly pressed a hand against the walls in every train station you visit, just in case.

Even if it isn’t King’s Cross Station, there’s still a chance.

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10. Still felt the tiniest twinge of hope when you check your mail.

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11. And still felt the inevitable disappointment when the heaviest envelope is just your utilities bill.


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12. Been very cautious around any and all willow trees.

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13. Felt genuinely afraid of muttering any of the Unforgivable Curses, even as a joke.

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Avada Kedanyway…

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14. Looked at a sock and teared up.

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15. Been immediately suspicious of people who wear a lot of pink.

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No Fudgin’ way.

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16. Secretly decided what your Horcruxes would be.

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Not that you’d ever kill anyone but come on, constant vigilance, right?

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17. Done something embarrassing and whispered “Obliviate,” full of hope.

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What a wonderful world that would be.

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18. Looked at your empty tea cup a little too closely.

Gioia De Antoniis / Flickr: jox1989 / Creative Commons


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19. Convinced yourself on more than one occasion that you were going to die soon because you kept seeing the Grim.

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And seriously, that breakfast croissant…

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20. Said the words “Expecto Patronum” when you were alone and afraid.

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This isn’t at all embarrassing, because it actually helps.

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21. Gotten a headache and seriously wondered if all is indeed well…

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