We all know Jack Dawson, protagonist of Titanic, ultimate heartthrob of 1912, the young man responsible for an entire generation's sexual awakening.
But let's be real for a second, guys. Jack Dawson was the worst.
Let's start with his first line. You know, right after he bets all of his AND Fabrizio's money on a game of poker? LAME.
He can fit literally all of his possessions in one duffel bag.
Because just the other night, he was sleepin' under a bridge.
Remember when he was like, "I'm an artist, look at my art, Rose."
And then it was a sketch book full of naked chicks. Awesome.
He took Rose on a really low-budget first date, AKA teaching her how to spit off the side of a boat.
And their next date was just as low-budget. Jack was pretty much like, "Let's go stand on the front of the boat this time. No spitting, just standing."
Oh, and when he tries to mansplain ice-fishing? OK.
Jack has a ton of roommates. So many roommates he can't even take Rose back to his room to do it. They have to do it in a car.
AND IT'S NOT EVEN HIS CAR. JUST SOME RANDO'S CAR, REAL CLASSY.
He's such a bad influence on Rose. She really changes once they start dating, ya know?
And remember when Jack STEALS that nice man's hat and coat?
Just so he can sneak onto the first class deck, pull Rose into a room, and basically be like, "You're garbage, but I like you anyway"?
Ugh, Jack. Just smoke a cigarette like a normal person.
Remember when he asks Cal's bodyguard for a cig and then TAKES TWO AND TUCKS ONE BEHIND HIS EAR?
There was that time he went to a fancy dinner with Rose and her fam and then immediately after was like, " So, you wanna go to a real party?"
And finally, he thinks he's the king of the world. Enough said.
