1. Don’t Be Too Desperate
Opportunities will come – they always do. Some will be good ones while others, not so much. Wait for the good ones.
Desperation means going at just any guy that comes your way. Any. And that is usually how and when you make the worst mistakes – when you're desperate and think that anyone is good enough, which isn't true obviously.
One can never be too patient when it comes to waiting for the right person to come by.
2. Don’t Try Too Hard
If he's into you, trust me, you will know it. If it turns out to be some sort of a one-way conversation where you keep asking about him, and he keeps answering without making any effort to get to know you better, it simply means that he's just not that into you. So at this point in time, you need to just shut up and move on.
Don't even think about confronting him about his level of interest, because a guy who leaves you questioning about this sort of thing simply isn't worth your time and effort. Period.
Stop talking to him, leave, and if he wants you back, he will make the effort to stop you from going.
You should never feel like you need to cater to a guy's hunger for attention. Some guys are just douches. Don't go for them – they just ain't worth it.
3. There’s a Difference Between ‘Putting Yourself Out There’ And ‘Slutting It Out’
4. Always Dinner First Before Anything
You know what I mean: No sex at first sight, please.
Have dinner together first, before deciding whether to go in for the ride or not (pun unintended).
You don't want to just jump into bed with him after two drinks at the bar, only to find out the next morning that he has a girlfriend (the HORROR), or that he's actually an ass to other people via a friend of a friend.
Go through a meal with him, get to know him as a person, and make sure he's not some playboy who just sleeps around. In the dating world, ignorance is never bliss. You will have to do some 'homework' beforehand to eliminate any chance of waking up with a regret or a cold sore (yikes!) the morning after.
5. Don’t Build Up Too Much Hope Or Expectation Before You Even Meet The Guy In Person
Yes, I'm talking about Tinder.
Texting can be fun, flirting over text can be fun, but when it comes down to meeting face to face, he could turn out to be a total flop who bores you to death. Or he could be really, really nice and charming and sweeps you off your feet, of course.
It's crucial to manage your expectations here, because those fantasies in your head are but what you imagine the reality to be, and the reality can be very different from what you wish it to be. Just sayin'.
6. It’s All About Luck
There will be good days where every cute person's messaging you and asking you out, and then there will be the bad days, where nobody's messaging you or those who do are all those middle-age creeps.
This is just how the dating world works – some days you get lucky, while on other days, you are just less so.
7. What You Think To Be Missed Chances Are Simply Things That Aren’t Meant To Be
It's not your fault that he didn't ask for drinks after dinner, or a second date after. If it's not meant to be, no matter what you do, it is just not gonna happen.
There's really no point in getting upset or disappointed about things that didn't happen as you wished.
Just remember: Everything happens for a reason.
8. Stay Real
You do you. If the other person isn't interested, then it's his loss, not yours.
Always stay true to yourself; don't try to act otherwise. Yes, we all want to impress our dates, we all want to put on our best behavior, that's alright, just don't overdo it.
9. It Should Be Easy
Dating should be easy. It should feel effortless and natural. Things should happen organically, and not forced. If throughout the date you're feeling awkward and tensed (in a bad way because you are always afraid that you would run out of topics to talk about), then perhaps you two are just not that compatible in personality and interests. Or that you're just not that attracted to him.
Trust your gut. Your subconsciousness is actually working harder than you know when it comes to picking the right person for you. The thing is, all of us are inherently attracted to certain qualities in people, whether we are acutely aware or not. So rely on your gut feeling when you just aren't so sure.
10. It’s All About R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
a) Know when it's okay to use your phone during the date (like when he's gone to use the washroom and etc.) and when it's not. It's a date, so give each other the due attention.
b) It is okay to refuse his advances and say No. If you're not interested, tell him. Don't leave him hanging. It's not fair or respectful to lead somebody on just because he's available and you're bored.
c) Respect yourself enough to leave ASAP when the guy is obviously a douchebag or an ass. You are not obliged to stick around to take any more of his bullcrap. Politely excuse yourself or dial a friend to save yo ass.
12. Never Settle For Less
It's not you, it's them.
Settling for someone who's lesser than what you expect is akin to going for junk food when what you wanted is a good proper meal. And you know how it works – junk food only keeps you occupied, it doesn't serve as nourishment.
And let me share with you something I've learned from experience: Of the people that you end up meeting up for dates, 50% of them are probably still hung up on their last relationship and are not ready for a new romance. They are just not emotionally ready yet, and you will sense it when they try to avoid talking about their ex relationship.
Don't settle to be someone else's rebound. You're better than that.
13. Know What You’re Looking For
This last point kind of sums up all the points mentioned above:
Know what you are looking for in a guy, and set some rules for yourself, like 'dinner first,' 'good manners,' 'non-smoking,' whatsoever.
Don't be too desperate. Don't go for sex for sex's sake, unless you are very sure of the consequences. Learn to say No to others' bullcrap, but also to your own bullcrap thirstiness.
Don't get too full of yourself on the good days, but don't over-doubt yourself at those low-key times too. Don't over-think things or over-fantasize.
Whether you get to meet the right person or not depends largely on fate. It's either meant to be or not.
Don't settle for less – "you accept the date you think you deserve."
Lastly, be comfortable in your own skin and be unapologetically you.
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