2. If Mariah Carey converted to Buddhism and refused to sing “All I Want for Christmas (Is You)” ever again
4. If the only kind of pizza left was Pizza Hut’s cheeseburger pizza
7. If this, on repeat, was the only thing on all TV channels forever
14. If Cee Lo Green sat across from you at your office all day making this face
18. If Paul McCartney released a dubstep album
Larry Busacca / Getty Images
19. If Satan finally called his loyal cat army into action to rise up against the humans
20. If the Dog Wizard enslaved us humans to work in the snausages mines
21. If George R.R. Martin died before he finished the final “Game of Thrones” book
23. If the new White House Press Secretary was this guy
Katie Notopoulos is a senior editor for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York. Notopoulos writes about the intersection of tech and web culture.
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