1. On Christmas Eve, Santa says goodbye to his favorite polar bear and leaves out some extra fish for the night
2. In his sleigh, he makes his first stop in Finland
3. But in his next stop in Russia, Santa has a few too many vodkas…
4. He wakes up at 5am next to a strange girl. Oh shit, he’s running late
5. His reindeer all left without him, so he catches a boat
6. When he gets to land, he hotwires a motorcycle
7. Then he steals an elephant…
8. Dammit, when he gets to Rio de Janeiro, he’s spotted by some kids
9. He’s gotta SCUBA across the Atlantic Ocean
10. Oooh awkward… he runs into an old mermaid flame.
11. Santa’s kind of a neatfreak, so in Tokyo, he stops to clean the windows on a building he stops at
12. He drops by Afghanistan to say hi to a few friends
13. Ugh hungover as heck and having to cycle across the Sahara
14. Ok quick break to say hi to Katy Perry. Hey girl, how you doin’?
15. Finally, he buys a last minute commercial ticket home
16. C’mon c’mon dude, don’t you know how this is?
17. Skiing back to the North Pole
18. And finally, back with his polar bear friend. What a night!
- David Fry, the last of the Oregon wildlife refuge occupiers, has surrendered to the FBI, ending a 40-day protest.
- Physicists have found gravitational waves: wrinkles in space-time that could open up a new way to see the universe 🔭
- Time for Democratic presidential debate number six: Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders will face each other in Wisconsin tonight 🇺🇸