1. Spiral notebooks.
Hurts the side of your hand. The worst are the five-subject with the extra big rings.
2. Writing in a three-ring binder.
You have to do that thing where you fit your hand between the top two, then eventually have to pick it up and fit it in between the bottom two.
3. Only one gross lefty glove in gym class.
The handsweat of a thousand lefties before you.
4. Only two pairs of the green lefty scissors in class, three lefty kids.
Scrambling through the scissors to find the ones with the green rubber handles, only to see they’re already all gone.
5. Ballpoint pens don’t work as well because you’re pushing, not pulling the ball.
The ink will never flow as well for lefties, so our pens stop up more.
7. Bonking elbows with a righty at the dinner table.
8. On the iPad Kindle app, the left side is back page.
This is really annoying — if you prefer to hold it in your left hand, you have to move your hand all the way to the other side to tap. On a real Kindle, page forward is on both sides, thankfully.
9. Driver’s cup holder is for the right hand.
So you have to hold your cup with your right hand.
11. Dying sooner, so becoming a zombie sooner.
Studies have shown lefties die up to nine years sooner than righties. At least we’ll get to eat their brains.
12. These desks.
College lecture hall desks with postage-stamp sizes desks. You have to twist your back and hold up your arm to use.
13. Measuring cups show you the stupid metric side.
The cups/ounces side is for the righties. You have to do that thing where you twist your whole arm around to be able to read ounces.
15. Made for righties.
Apparently you can get modified lefty controllers, but maybe you should just go outside.
16. Cord on the credit card machine pen is never long enough.
Annoying. Annoying. I’m annoyed.
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