14 Reasons 2013 Was A Bad Year For Jose Canseco’s Goats

Jose’s got 99 problems and his pet goats account for at least 14 of them. Probably more, to be perfectly honest. posted on

1. It started this November when Jose’s girlfriend, Model Leila, decided she wanted pet goats. Jose does not appear thrilled:

2. Then he had to drive 5 hours to the middle of nowhere to get to the goat farm.

Leaving for bum f*** Egypt with @ModelLeila.... 5 hour drive..to get our 2 fainting goats tomorrow morning. Making a documentary on it

3. Model Leila is maybe a littttttle too attached to the goats.

Fainting goats tomorrow will be @ModelLeila 's children until we have our own .They will join our zoo of 4 dogs and tortoises. More to come

4. Ugh, now he has to come up with names for these goats:

5. The police do not respect his goats.

Just got pulled over with goats in the car. The cop laughed at our poor goats . Awesome

6. Jose is possibly in serious peril here from these horny goats.

@ModelLeila and I and our goat fever . Both goats keep staring me down I think they're in heat

7. But wait - are the goats good luck?

8. The situation has devolved. Goats are rampantly headbutting Jose and Model Leila.

9. ABORT MISSION ABORT GOAT MISSION. GOATS PISSING AND SHITTING EVERYWHERE. GOATS ARE WEARING DIAPERS.

Yes everyone my girlfriend Leila &I @ModelLeila bought fainting goats& they were in the car w/diapers so they don't piss and shit everywhere

10. At this point, the Canseco home is being overrun by an obscene amount of animals

@ModelLeila ..Our 4 dogs in the room.. 2 goats in the bathroom, and 2 tortoises in the shower.8 animals in our room.

11. But even when they go out for a night on the town, Jose can’t stop thinking about his goats, dreaming about the goats, missing the goats.

12. And yet the situation continues to go from Very Bad to Very Worse:

13. The goats are even getting on Model Leila’s nerves:

14. Finally, the day after Christmas, a serious letter from their landlord about violations due to the goats. Could this be the end for Coco the Goat and Chanel the Goat?

#Pray4JosesGoats.

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