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14 Reasons 2013 Was A Bad Year For Jose Canseco’s Goats

Jose’s got 99 problems and his pet goats account for at least 14 of them. Probably more, to be perfectly honest.

1. It started this November when Jose’s girlfriend, Model Leila, decided she wanted pet goats. Jose does not appear thrilled:


Jose Canseco

@JoseCanseco

My girlfriend Leila @ModelLeila wants to buy fainting goats tomorrow . Great

/ Via

2. Then he had to drive 5 hours to the middle of nowhere to get to the goat farm.


Jose Canseco

@JoseCanseco

Leaving for bum f*** Egypt with @ModelLeila…. 5 hour drive..to get our 2 fainting goats tomorrow morning. Making a documentary on it

/ Via

3. Model Leila is maybe a littttttle too attached to the goats.


Jose Canseco

@JoseCanseco

Fainting goats tomorrow will be @ModelLeila ‘s children until we have our own .They will join our zoo of 4 dogs and tortoises. More to come

/ Via

4. Ugh, now he has to come up with names for these goats:


Jose Canseco

@JoseCanseco

Got our goats . Any suggestions for names ? They’re both girls

/ Via

5. The police do not respect his goats.


Jose Canseco

@JoseCanseco

Just got pulled over with goats in the car. The cop laughed at our poor goats . Awesome

/ Via

6. Jose is possibly in serious peril here from these horny goats.

@ModelLeila and I and our goat fever . Both goats keep staring me down I think they're in heat

— JoseCanseco (@Jose Canseco)

Jose Canseco

@JoseCanseco

@ModelLeila and I and our goat fever . Both goats keep staring me down I think they’re in heat

/ Via

7. But wait - are the goats good luck?

These goats could've broken @cubs curse. It's a sign.

— JoseCanseco (@Jose Canseco)

Jose Canseco

@JoseCanseco

These goats could’ve broken @cubs curse. It’s a sign.

/ Via

8. The situation has devolved. Goats are rampantly headbutting Jose and Model Leila.

How can I stop the goats from head butting @ModelLeila and I dogs ?

— JoseCanseco (@Jose Canseco)

Jose Canseco

@JoseCanseco

How can I stop the goats from head butting @ModelLeila and I dogs ?

/ Via

9. ABORT MISSION ABORT GOAT MISSION. GOATS PISSING AND SHITTING EVERYWHERE. GOATS ARE WEARING DIAPERS.

Yes everyone my girlfriend Leila &I @ModelLeila bought fainting goats& they were in the car w/diapers so they don't piss and shit everywhere

— JoseCanseco (@Jose Canseco)

Jose Canseco

@JoseCanseco

Yes everyone my girlfriend Leila &I @ModelLeila bought fainting goats& they were in the car w/diapers so they don’t piss and shit everywhere

/ Via

10. At this point, the Canseco home is being overrun by an obscene amount of animals

@ModelLeila ..Our 4 dogs in the room.. 2 goats in the bathroom, and 2 tortoises in the shower.8 animals in our room.

— JoseCanseco (@Jose Canseco)

Jose Canseco

@JoseCanseco

@ModelLeila ..Our 4 dogs in the room.. 2 goats in the bathroom, and 2 tortoises in the shower.8 animals in our room.

/ Via

11. But even when they go out for a night on the town, Jose can’t stop thinking about his goats, dreaming about the goats, missing the goats.

My girl Leila @ModelLeila and her best friend in la tonight. We miss our goats

— JoseCanseco (@Jose Canseco)

Jose Canseco

@JoseCanseco

My girl Leila @ModelLeila and her best friend in la tonight. We miss our goats

/ Via

12. And yet the situation continues to go from Very Bad to Very Worse:

How can we stop our dogs from eating our goats poop? @ModelLeila

— JoseCanseco (@Jose Canseco)

Jose Canseco

@JoseCanseco

How can we stop our dogs from eating our goats poop? @ModelLeila

/ Via

13. The goats are even getting on Model Leila’s nerves:

Damn goat woke me up on my bday at 7 am

— ModelLeila (@Leila Knight)

Leila Knight

@ModelLeila

Damn goat woke me up on my bday at 7 am

/ Via

14. Finally, the day after Christmas, a serious letter from their landlord about violations due to the goats. Could this be the end for Coco the Goat and Chanel the Goat?

We got a very serious Goat warning from HOA?!? @ModelLeila

— JoseCanseco (@Jose Canseco)

Jose Canseco

@JoseCanseco

We got a very serious Goat warning from HOA?!? @ModelLeila

/ Via

#Pray4JosesGoats.

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