14 Reasons 2013 Was A Bad Year For Jose Canseco’s Goats

Jose’s got 99 problems and his pet goats account for at least 14 of them. Probably more, to be perfectly honest.

1. It started this November when Jose’s girlfriend, Model Leila, decided she wanted pet goats. Jose does not appear thrilled:

2. Then he had to drive 5 hours to the middle of nowhere to get to the goat farm.

3. Model Leila is maybe a littttttle too attached to the goats.

4. Ugh, now he has to come up with names for these goats:

5. The police do not respect his goats.

6. Jose is possibly in serious peril here from these horny goats.

@ModelLeila and I and our goat fever . Both goats keep staring me down I think they're in heat

— JoseCanseco (@Jose Canseco)

7. But wait - are the goats good luck?

These goats could've broken @cubs curse. It's a sign.

— JoseCanseco (@Jose Canseco)

8. The situation has devolved. Goats are rampantly headbutting Jose and Model Leila.

How can I stop the goats from head butting @ModelLeila and I dogs ?

— JoseCanseco (@Jose Canseco)

9. ABORT MISSION ABORT GOAT MISSION. GOATS PISSING AND SHITTING EVERYWHERE. GOATS ARE WEARING DIAPERS.

Yes everyone my girlfriend Leila &I @ModelLeila bought fainting goats& they were in the car w/diapers so they don't piss and shit everywhere

— JoseCanseco (@Jose Canseco)

10. At this point, the Canseco home is being overrun by an obscene amount of animals

@ModelLeila ..Our 4 dogs in the room.. 2 goats in the bathroom, and 2 tortoises in the shower.8 animals in our room.

— JoseCanseco (@Jose Canseco)

11. But even when they go out for a night on the town, Jose can’t stop thinking about his goats, dreaming about the goats, missing the goats.

My girl Leila @ModelLeila and her best friend in la tonight. We miss our goats

— JoseCanseco (@Jose Canseco)

12. And yet the situation continues to go from Very Bad to Very Worse:

How can we stop our dogs from eating our goats poop? @ModelLeila

— JoseCanseco (@Jose Canseco)

13. The goats are even getting on Model Leila’s nerves:

Damn goat woke me up on my bday at 7 am

— ModelLeila (@Leila Knight)

14. Finally, the day after Christmas, a serious letter from their landlord about violations due to the goats. Could this be the end for Coco the Goat and Chanel the Goat?

We got a very serious Goat warning from HOA?!? @ModelLeila

— JoseCanseco (@Jose Canseco)

#Pray4JosesGoats.

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

          
    Hot Buzz

    If You Could Change The Ending To Any Movie, What Would It Be?

    collection

    What’s The Best Part About Getting Older?

    collection
    Now Buzzing