quiz

Quiz: Are You From Florida?

Turns out, you might be. This quiz, inspired by local expert @_FloridaMan, will reveal the truth.

1. Possible police sketch of you:

  1. 1. Have you ever accidentally crushed someone's car with a monster truck?
    1. Yes, but she left it parked near my crushin’ zone, so it wasn’t really my fault
    2. No
  2. 2. Have you ever blamed lack of sex for robbing a 7-11?
    1. Yes, but it was totally justified
    2. No
  3. 3. Are you banned from being within 50 ft of a school AND from buying Kool-Aid?
    1. Yes, and I love Kool-Aid, it’s where I get my vitamins
    2. No
  4. 4. Is this the reason you're not currently locked up?
    1. Well, “technically”, yes
    2. No
  5. 5. Have you ever hid in a pond after robbing your mom?
    1. Yes, a pond is a great hiding place (except for these gators)
    2. No
  6. 6. Did your boyfriend ever just drive you SO nuts with his "Jagged Little Pill" mp3s you blew your cool?
    1. Ugh, I mean, I like Alanis just fine, but not 4x times in a row on repeat. That gets me in a platey mood
    2. No
  7. 7. Have you ever bitten a police car?
    1. Yeah, man, I was on hella bath salts
    2. No
  8. 8. Do you ever bring your Klingon sword into traffic?
    1. Yes, I bring it everywhere because it contains my powers
    2. No
  9. 9. Have you ever used a fish as a weapon?
    1. Yeah well, sometimes when someone’s acting a fool, they need a good fishslap
    2. No
  10. 10. Have you ever been denied entry to a strip club, and if so, was it because you tried to bring a housecat inside, and if so, did you call 911 to protest?
    1. Yes, this was total bullshit. Mr. Swampcat and I wanted to enjoy some adult entertainment and this NAZI bouncer was all “you can’t bring that possum in here,” and I says, “it’s not a possum it’s a cat,” and he was all, “then why doesn’t it have fur on the
    2. No

News headlines taken from BuzzFeed’s favorite new Twitter account @_FloridaMan. Go follow it now (NOW! I’m telling you) for the best weird local Florida news.

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