Please Come To My Rave

Hi there. It’s me, your next door neighbor Ivan. I just wanted to inform you I’ll be hosting a rave this weekend, and I’d love you to come.

1. Hello neighbor, I found your dog in my yard again. While I’m here, I thought I’d invited you to my rave tomorrow night.

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2. I see you have questions about what a rave is.

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3. I’ll explain.

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4. I’ll be dancing like this:

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5. There will be the most beautiful ladies there

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10. It is a very cool mature event for adults. Like you and me.

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15. Wear your finest clothing, this is an event to dress to impress!

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18. There will be the coolest DJs playing the most lovely rave music

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23. We will abide by the P.L.U.R. rules

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24. What is P.L.U.R. you ask? Peace, Love, Unity, Respect!

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25. There will be a special chillout room, and also a friend zone. For friends!

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26. You don’t need to bring any snacks, we shall feast on the music!

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27. Oh yeah, don’t bother showing up until at least after 10pm.

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28. Perhaps you shall desire a backrub, and I will be happy to do so for you:

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29. Oh, and if it gets noisy, please just let me know instead of calling the cops.

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30. See you tonight, gorgeous.

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