1. This guy who doesn’t give a fuck what time you’re supposed to eat that chocolate.
3. This freeform Oreo eater.
7. This guy who just won the console wars.
9. This photographer who doesn’t care about the bullshit rules of society.
10. This scofflaw who will go where she wants.
11. This guy who is dismantling the system one touch at a time.
13. This bird who will make his own choices.
14. This speeder.
17. This man whose quest for relaxation will not be stopped at any cost.
18. This beverage that crosses the rubicon into anarchy.
19. These potatoes who will do whatever the fuck they want, wherever they want.
21. The person who gave two middle fingers to the world as he or she cut this cornbread.
26. This hardened gangster.
In a previous version, item #21 identified the food substance as cake. Upon the advice of several readers, as well as our own further examination, we believe the food substance to be, in fact, cornbread.
- Two people on a civilian airplane were killed in a mid-air collision with a military jet in South Carolina. The F-16 jet pilot was ejected and is "in good shape."
- Bounce TV and BET will no longer air series featuring Bill Cosby after court records showed he admitted to buying sedatives to give to women.
- Harry Shearer, the voice of Mr. Burns on "The Simpsons," will rejoin the show. In May, he said he was leaving.