How Experienced In Pooping Are You?

How many of these deuces have you dropped?

  1. Adam Ellis/BuzzFeed
    1. 1 Post-coffee poop
    2. 2 Post-cigarette poop
    3. 3 Post-coffee-and-cigarette poop
    4. 4 Straight-up diarrhea
    5. 5 Perfect emoji poop
    6. 6 Confusing white poop
    7. 7 Squid ink black poop
    8. 8 Reddish poop after eating beets
    9. 9 Flu poop
    10. 10 Hangover shits
    11. 11 Beer shits
    12. 12 Red wine shits
    13. 13 Burrito poop
    14. 14 Flamin’ Hot Cheetos red poop
    15. 15 Period poop
    16. 16 Ninja poop (when you wipe and there’s nothing?!??!)
    17. 17 Foot-long poop
    18. 18 Poop that spells out a J in the toilet
    19. 19 A bunch of tiny raisin-like turds
    20. 20 Poop so big you can feel your organs resettle afterwards inside your body
    21. 21 Ghost poop, which is all fart, no poop
    22. 22 Shart (you think it’ll be a fart, but then it’s a poop)
    23. 23 Adult poop that smells like baby poop
    24. 24 Loud explosive bomb blast poop
    25. 25 Corn poop
    26. 26 Butt burning poop
    27. 27 Awkward office bathroom poop
    28. 28 Three flush poop
    29. 29 Vom-poop where you’re pooping and vomming simultaneously
    30. 30 Stick poop, which comes out in skinny little sticks
    31. 31 EMERGENCY poop when you have to abandon EVERYTHING you are doing to go EXPLODE
    32. 32 Nervous poop
    33. 33 Clingy poop that takes a thousand wipes
    34. 34 Turd that flies out of your shorts while doing a backlfip and definitely wasn’t how that turd got on the ceiling
    35. 35 O.P.P. (other people’s poop)
    36. 36 Not sure if human or dog poop
    37. 37 Disappointing poop
    38. 38 Rock hard poop
    39. 39 Chode poop (wider than it is long)
    40. 40 The poop of life (the poop your mom made when she was giving birth to you)
    41. 41 Gas station bathroom poop
    42. 42 First poop at a new romantic partner’s place
    43. 43 Toilet smasher
    44. 44 Poop that smashes your new romantic partner’s toilet
    45. 45 Drunk poop
    46. 46 Poop so huge it makes your butt bleed
    47. 47 Pre-shower naked poop
    48. 48 Middle of the night poop
    49. 49 Wilderness poop, out in the wild
    50. 50 Hunger poop
    51. 51 Day 3 of a juice cleanse poop
    52. 52 Salad poop, after eating pizza the day before
    53. 53 Simultaneously eating while you poop
    54. 54 Bar poop
    55. 55 Club poop
    56. 56 The cruel irony of the post-shower poop
    57. 57 Formal attire poop
    58. 58 Spanx poop
    59. 59 Post-Thanksgiving 20-pound poop
    60. 60 First open and honest poop in a new relationship
    61. 61 Post-sex poop
    62. 62 Indian food poop
    63. 63 Mexican food poop
    64. 64 Pizza poop
    65. 65 Unsatisfying sushi poop
    66. 66 Grape nuts poop
    67. 67 Ass destroying kale poop
    68. 68 Hole wrecking poop
    69. 69 Bloody poop
    70. 70 Copaphilia sex poop
    71. 71 Accidental sex poop
    72. 72 Coworker-in-the-next-stall-trying-to-talk-to-you poop
    73. 73 Mid-movie poop
    74. 74 Flappy Bird high score poop
    75. 75 Really long skinny poop
    76. 76 Exam poop
    77. 77 Fear poop
    78. 78 Anxiety poop
    79. 79 Diarrhea that you definitely didn’t think was going to be diarrhea poop
    80. 80 Spicy diarrhea
    81. 81 Diaper poop
    82. 82 Adult diaper poop
    83. 83 Starbucks bathroom poop
    84. 84 Mid-meal poop
    85. 85 Emergency roadside poop
    86. 86 Airplane poop
    87. 87 Sunday morning leisurely poop
    88. 88 Expired milk poop
    89. 89 Sexting poop
    90. 90 The poop you want to last longer because you’re reading something on your phone
    91. 91 The fake poop, when you just have a really big fart
    92. 92 The poop that makes the toilet water backsplash you
    93. 93 Very unpleasant messy poop that you don’t even know how to clean up
    94. 94 Wet Wipes poop
    95. 95 Poop when you’ve run out of TP and want to die
    96. 96 The hanging poop that won’t fall into the toilet
    97. 97 The little bit of round 2 poop that won’t fall off after you have the main turd
    98. 98 The fake-out poop when you think you’re done and you wipe and THEN ROUND 2 IS ON
    99. 99 The tiny bit of poop that keeps floating no matter how many times you flush
    100. 100 The toilet clogger

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