1. Harvard is now best known as “the Stanford of the East.”
NOTE: There was a news article with that headline, which skews the Google results.
2. Stanford is the new Harvard. But better than Harvard. The best in the world.
3. NYU is too expensive and not worth it.
[The “impressed with you letter” is something NYU and other schools send to students with high SAT scores to encourage them to apply.]
4. Princeton is gay and a trade school.
5. Yale is apparently for wizards.
6. No one knows where Brown is, what it’s known for, or if it’s any good.
7. University of Massachusetts is for drunks and a party school.
8. No one is sure where Duke is, or who it’s named for.
9. University of North Carolina is first and foremost, better than Duke. Secondly, it’s gay.
10. MIT students are arrogant, happy, and possibly banned from Vegas.
11. Tufts is full of hotties, but tough.
12. Boston University’s main point is that it’s allegedly better than Boston College.
13. University of Virginia is bigger, smarter, and preppier.
(The “not a charm school” thing is a line in Silence of the Lambs)