Here Is What Google Says About Your College

The truth shall finally be revealed by our weird search history.

1. Harvard is now best known as “the Stanford of the East.”

NOTE: There was a news article with that headline, which skews the Google results.

ID: 3453840

2. Stanford is the new Harvard. But better than Harvard. The best in the world.

ID: 3453836

3. NYU is too expensive and not worth it.

[The “impressed with you letter” is something NYU and other schools send to students with high SAT scores to encourage them to apply.]

ID: 3453833

4. Princeton is gay and a trade school.

ID: 3453837

5. Yale is apparently for wizards.

ID: 3453839

6. No one knows where Brown is, what it’s known for, or if it’s any good.

ID: 3453838

7. University of Massachusetts is for drunks and a party school.

ID: 3453834

A UMass Dartmouth sweatshirt, folded.

ID: 3461806

8. No one is sure where Duke is, or who it’s named for.

ID: 3453867

9. University of North Carolina is first and foremost, better than Duke. Secondly, it’s gay.

ID: 3453866

UNC vs Duke.

ID: 3461729

10. MIT students are arrogant, happy, and possibly banned from Vegas.

ID: 3453835

11. Tufts is full of hotties, but tough.

ID: 3453977

12. Boston University’s main point is that it’s allegedly better than Boston College.

ID: 3453978

13. University of Virginia is bigger, smarter, and preppier.

(The “not a charm school” thing is a line in Silence of the Lambs)

ID: 3453980

14. Students at UC Berkeley is too hard, so students are googling to find out if a D is a passing grade.

ID: 3453982

15. Georgetown students are hot and care about birth control.

ID: 3453983

16. Cornell is either the best Ivy, or not an Ivy at all. It’s also “wired.”

ID: 3453984

17. Penn State may be a cult.

ID: 3453988

…and its students are :(

ID: 3453986

18. University of Pennsylvania is NOT Penn State. It’s a private school.

ID: 3453987

19. University of Chicago is where fun goes to die.

ID: 3453989

20. Northwestern is an overrated party school.

ID: 3453985

21. Vassar students are questionably happy, weird, and gay.

ID: 3461911

22. Wesleyan is the Harvard of central Connecticut.

ID: 3461921

23. Arizona State University is a bad party school full of hot people (or the weather is hot?).

ID: 3461881

24. Southern Methodist University students may be snobby.

ID: 3462020

25. People want to know if Bennington is good, but more pressingly, is it even accredited?

ID: 3461983

26. University of Florida students get free Microsoft Office, if they avoid murder, that is.

ID: 3462275

27. Rutgers is happy and slutty.

ID: 3462302

28. Temple University is ghetto.

ID: 3462304

29. University of Missouri is for real, the best, awesome gay, and most crucially, better than Kansas.

ID: 3462345

But it doesn’t matter WHERE you go to college, just remember this one thing:

ID: 3462449

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