19 Struggles Of Being A Picky Eater

Oh, there are mushrooms in this? Never mind.

1. You HAPPEN to have the dietary preferences of a child. So people tend to think you’re kind of being a child.

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2. You have to look up restaurant menus ahead of time every time you go somewhere new to make sure there’s something you’re willing to eat.

Thank god, they have a burger.

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3. You identify strongly with Randy Parker in A Christmas Story.

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4. Your so-called friends are always trying to make you eat things you KNOW you won’t like.

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5. Like, for example, Brussels sprouts. Why is everyone obsessed with you eating Brussels sprouts?

I seem to recall, growing up, that this is something you’re fed as a punishment.

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6. Trying to agree on something to eat with your friends is an embarrassing nightmare.

“Remember pizza? We all like pizza, all the time. Yes, I know we just had it last week.”

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7. The look of abject horror on your friends’ faces when you tell them you haven’t eaten the new trendy grain or green yet.

I am surviving without kale. I don’t know how, either!!!!!

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8. Nobody seems to understand: It’s not that you don’t like FOOD.

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9. You LOVE cereal, for example. All the cereals. (For children!)

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10. Anything with bread and cheese as the two major ingredients is a safe bet.

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11. As mentioned, pizza is your safe haven when eating with groups.

Just please don’t put weird shit on it. Fruit? Anchovies? Are you a monster?

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12. You have your favorite food items to which you’ve made lifelong commitments.

I COULD try something new, buuuuuutttttttt …..

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13. You can’t hide your yuck face.

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14. You’ve tried tricking yourself by putting a food you like all over/around/on top of a food you don’t like.

It’s the peanut butter on celery model.

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15. But you feel a lot of inner guilt about eating the way you do.

Surely one human should not eat this much pasta, and so little else.

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16. So every month or so, you’ll make yourself try something you’ve always believed you hated.

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17. And every once in a while, someone kind of “makes” you try something you swore you’d never eat and … you like it.


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18. You friends and/or family are going to be really obnoxious about this. This is why it doesn’t pay to be flexible.

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19. You make a lot of proclamations like, “Nobody REALLY likes salad.” You must stand by them for the rest of your life.

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