1. You HAPPEN to have the dietary preferences of a child. So people tend to think you’re kind of being a child.
2. You have to look up restaurant menus ahead of time every time you go somewhere new to make sure there’s something you’re willing to eat.
Thank god, they have a burger.
3. You identify strongly with Randy Parker in A Christmas Story.
4. Your so-called friends are always trying to make you eat things you KNOW you won’t like.
5. Like, for example, Brussels sprouts. Why is everyone obsessed with you eating Brussels sprouts?
I seem to recall, growing up, that this is something you’re fed as a punishment.
6. Trying to agree on something to eat with your friends is an embarrassing nightmare.
“Remember pizza? We all like pizza, all the time. Yes, I know we just had it last week.”
7. The look of abject horror on your friends’ faces when you tell them you haven’t eaten the new trendy grain or green yet.
I am surviving without kale. I don’t know how, either!!!!!
8. Nobody seems to understand: It’s not that you don’t like FOOD.
9. You LOVE cereal, for example. All the cereals. (For children!)
10. Anything with bread and cheese as the two major ingredients is a safe bet.
11. As mentioned, pizza is your safe haven when eating with groups.
Just please don’t put weird shit on it. Fruit? Anchovies? Are you a monster?
12. You have your favorite food items to which you’ve made lifelong commitments.
I COULD try something new, buuuuuutttttttt …..
14. You’ve tried tricking yourself by putting a food you like all over/around/on top of a food you don’t like.
It’s the peanut butter on celery model.
15. But you feel a lot of inner guilt about eating the way you do.
Surely one human should not eat this much pasta, and so little else.
16. So every month or so, you’ll make yourself try something you’ve always believed you hated.
17. And every once in a while, someone kind of “makes” you try something you swore you’d never eat and … you like it.
18. You friends and/or family are going to be really obnoxious about this. This is why it doesn’t pay to be flexible.
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