You didn’t choose the lethargic life.
2. Even when you do wake up, you lie in bed for another 10 minutes.
3. Washing your hair is a workout.
9. And only eyeliner.
Maybe some *mascara* if you’re feeling extra special.
12. Or if you do accessorize, you wear the same things every damn time, so you might as well not even accessorize.
13. And of the accessories that you have, 100% of them were gifts from other people.
Wow, dainty bangles that I will never wear — how did you know?!?!
14. You haven’t worn earrings in so long that your earring holes have essentially closed.
18. And you resort to one of the solid 10 outfits you’ve been rotating in your wardrobe for the last three years.
20. You have one sweater/cardigan and you only use it ICE (in case of emergency aka in cold establishments).
23. Fine, but you will unbutton the fewest buttons possible to squeeze your head through.
24. You can’t remember the last time you untied and tied your laces to get your sneakers on.
25. Actually, the majority of your shoes are slip-ons or faux lace-ups with side zippers.
26. How you feel after wearing heels or constrictive clothing after 15 minutes.
29. Shopping for leisure does not make sense to you.
30. And shopping for specific items of clothing/occasions is still the worst and you avoid it at all costs.
UGH I don’t need a clutch, I can just hold my phone in my spandex.