1. The only quality time you get to spend with your husband is on the tractor.
2. Or in the pick-up truck, a.k.a. your second home.
3. And taking your lunch out into the field is the closest you get to a picnic.
4. But it's not like your S.O. eats anything but meat and three veg anyway.
5. You look forward to rainy days in the summer, just so you can spend time with your family.
6. Of course, when you're starting a family you need to be organised in order to avoid giving birth during harvest time.
7. Your Christmas turkey always arrives in with its feathers and innards still in tact.
8. You sort your washing according to how dirty it is, rather than colour.
9. And you wear nail varnish to hide the dirt under your nails.
10. There's never any veg in your pantry, so you have to go and dig your own.
11. Even though your garden is an absolute mess.
12. Your washing machine packs up every harvest because it gets blocked with corn and dust.
13. A lie in is anything past 5.30am.
14. When your S.O. tells you he'll be an hour, you expect him in five.
15. Which means you eat dinner alone at least twice a week.
16. And even though all your kit and machinery are fitted with GPS, you can never locate your spouse.
18. And you're forbidden from speaking during the Countryfile weather report - or any other forecast for that matter.
19. Your summer excursions include at least three agricultural shows.
20. But mostly you take holidays in other agricultural areas, so that your spouse can spy on the techniques and methods of other growers and producers.
21. Your shopping list includes items like filters, overalls, belts, lights, cables, and spark plugs.
